Day 145: Stress or Self - Why do we get sick on holiday

I have heard stories of people getting sick on holiday and this might be a common episode for many, especially for those working in the world system. I have investigated this point by myself as it is the second time that I get an infection in my body while on holiday and in my case this is related to stress.

Living in constant state of stress is not the only way I can live. In fact, after spending almost three weeks on holiday in a stress-free environment I am seeing the benefits of not indulging into the stress energy: I have been sleeping better, feeling no friction in my belly after meals, feeling relaxed and more aware of my physical body and my surroundings. At the same time, I am now facing the side effects of the "decompression".

After my first week on holiday I suddenly started with an intense tooth pain caused by an infection in a tooth treated last month that was still weak.  It is interesting to see how the weakspot that already existed in me had been affected on a physical level by the change of lifestyle and environment - in fact, the reduction of my stress levels simply allowed the consequences to playout, meaning, the pain that I was feeling was the consequence of the accumulated stress (and its toxins) in my body for a long period of time that manifested in my weakspot when I stopped the stress cycle on holiday. Last year I also experienced pain and sickness after the first week - my weak point by that time was my stomach - and my homeopath also confirmed how the body cells react to cortisol (the stress hormone) in the digestive system which creates discomfort after eating, among other effects.

Since then I have been more aware of the stress point and this has been a chapter of my process of self-investigation with the tools of self-forgiveness, breathing, self-awareness, self-corrective statements and real-time application. For those facing a similar experience, I found the Self-Living webinars on how to be successful without stress very helpful and with practical examples. What I have been realising is that the process of changing myself is not some wishful thinking or prayer-based theory because change is a physical application where I change my behaviour in real time for and by myself.

Both last year and this year I got assistance and recovered from the pain but the question is: Do I want to get sick and pain every time I go on holiday? How can I prevent the consequences of stress and, more importantly, how can I prevent stress from taking over my physical body and being?

The answer is in the realisation that whatever happens to me is a result of my acceptances and allowances, meaning, stress exists within me because I have accepted it in my life. So the challenge ahead is to investigate and understand how I generate the stress energy and why. Let me start by asking me: Can I wake up and get up without any energetic rush? Can I do my daily job without going into exhaustion? Am I able to walk from point A to B in a constant pace without running or rushing? 
By simply opening up these points I can see already certain memories from childhood popping up in my mind - for example, the constant rush against the clock that I saw my parents living in, my curiosity in typing and speaking very fast just like I saw adults doing, the idea that running from one place to another is an indicator that I am doing something relevant and that being busy is a sign of being good at what I am doing. It is no surprise that my expression and movements can easily get boosted by the energetic emotion of stress. I can see that that which I have believed to be an effective way of dealing with things is actually a limitation because the stress energy is limited in its attention spam and life spam - our body cannot simply cope with stress levels for an extensive period of time without the physical consequences. So now the question is: How can I work, study and do all the things that I must do without doing it in stress or getting stressed by it? Who am I and how is my self-expression without stress?

 

The sooner I see that the stress and pain that I am causing to myself is only my responsibility, the obvious response will be that I am also able to prevent such self-abuse, right? I mean, there isn't anyone saying to me 'you go to be stressed', or 'you got to have a stressful lifestyle' - so why do I impose such ideas onto my own self? In this regard, I am looking at patterns of my own accepted thoughts, ideas and beliefs in the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind. I will start by forgiving the thoughts that I am aware of and then new points will open up. Self-Forgiveness is an ice-breaker to deconstruct the ideas that I have imposed unto myself and it assists me to know myself in self-honesty, humbleness and egolessness.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the stress energy when I face many tasks in my day instead of dealing with my tasks in complete stability and in self-trust.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create the emotional state of stress by thinking that I will not be able to complete my task on time. In this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my own self and my self-direction by participating in the fear of not being able to complete a task on time.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to relax on a daily basis but instead believe that I can only relax on holiday and, based on that, create my own physical and mental exhaustion during the majority of the time that I am not on holiday.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am better or more efficient if I move myself in stress. I see that my definition of stress implies doing things fast however doing things fast and well do not imply stress necessarily. In fact, I am realising that when I am not emotionally stressed I am more open to communicate with others and to be more creative in my approach to things.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to go into stress and inner panic when I am faced with a short notice task or when things don't go as planned / expected.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to project my anxiety towards another and blame the other for not helping me instead of slowing down and asking for help in a constructive way.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need the stress energy and the pressure of being late in order to move myself quickly and to make quick decisions.

In my next article I will publish my self-corrective statements as part of my commitment to change my patterns of behaviour, from automated response to self-created movement. 

Suggested video on Less Stress More Success: https://selfandliving.com/p/less-stress-more-success

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DAY 133: Listening to a Self-Honest hangout in a Dishonest society

The timing of tonight's hangout was incredible and I am grateful for arriving home, turning on the laptop and listening to a self-honest conversation. Not only because I stand for the same principles, but also because it supported me to ground myself after a long day in a self-dishonest society where people care little about each other. It is not difficult to get distracted from my own self-honesty and start blaming everything and everyone for my own experience of stress, annoyance or disappointment - however, there is no excuse to still fall into the same automated reactions when I have the tools* to support me to slow down the mind and focus on Who I am in every moment.  So while watching the hangout and listening to the guests, I noticed within me a shift  from a disempowered mind of the work day to a self-awareness state of being, present and self-empowered. It is amazing how we can support each other to become self-honest, to learn with each other and to live up to our fullest potential. Let us not underestimate the power of mutual support to learn and become self-honest in every moment of our day.

* The tools of breath awareness, writing, self-forgiveness and self-commitments and self-change. 

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DAY 128: Where change begins

This morning I woke up with this old sensation within me of wanting to avoid the day ahead and the things that I have to do. In self-honesty I see that this pattern has been around mainly related to my relationship to the Masters that I am taking, however I have been trying to hide it with other things that I have judged to be "easier" tasks in order to almost forget my study responsibilities.

So when I finally got out of bed, I gave me a moment to stop the thoughts and to start saying Self-Forgiveness out loud about the self-defeat thoughts that I woke up with, such as "I am not good enough to have a Masters, I don't deserve to have it if I don't study for it, I am not as dedicated to it as other people are", and I got to the point of seeing that I haven't simply walked the decision of actually changing my relationship to my studies, to my career, to my priorities. Instead of learning from others, I have been using comparisons to interiorise myself and to justify my self-judgments of not being able to become the best I can be in my studies/academic performance. This relationship pattern already existed within me and it is now being projected towards my studies, so I can embrace this opportunity to get to know me on this point and start seeing how I can change my relationship with myself and, consequently, with my studies and everything I do in every moment of my existence.

After this I decided to start my day with a plan of action, starting with a nice breakfast and a list of things that realistically I should be able to do with the time I have today. A very important thing that contributed to this self-stabilization within me this morning was to decide to watch the most recent DesteniiProcess hangout, where I heard the words that I was not giving to myself. That is why I called today's blog Where change begins, because this was a point that the panellists focused on: starting by Self is the only way to make the change happen. No comparison should be involved, no self-judgment, no self-defeat, no powerlessness - if that happens in my mind, I am aware that I am the one allowing such mind-set to possess me and to control me. In self-responsibility, I can stop the thoughts, forgive myself, and assist myself to change in the moment, give myself direction and, in my case, restart my day with a plan that corresponds to my study responsibilities and to my decision to expand my expertise and my potential through doing a MA.

On my next post I will share my Self-Forgiveness and my Self-Corrective process in regards to this depressive relationship towards my studies and my redefinition of my priorities.

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DAY 92: Quantum Suicide and Quantum Life

Third Contact movie

This year I have had the opportunity to see the questions of life and death projected into the screens and scripts of two featured movies: one of them was the documentary The Act of Killing, and most recently, the thriller Third Contact. Today I will explore points that I realised while watching the latter.

This low budget movie touches upon the issues of bipolarity, depression, immortality, life after death, memories, past lives and traumas through visual communication and interlinked stories of the characters that we come across. This blog post is not so much a movie review but rather my sharing of the points that came up while watching it. At some point, I thought: what if that person (or someone going through the same mental turbulence) was to apply self-forgiveness on the memories of the mind, on the anger, on the sadness, on the experience that one is creating to oneself and others, on the past, on the self-definitions, the multiple personalities, the fears and on thoughts that are against oneself? Would this not be a form of re-birth? Are we not all desiring to kill the thoughts in our own minds that keeps us going on in circles and ultimately our own physical death?

I found that it is not a coincidence that the image of suicide is often related to bullet in the head, not in the heart - one is actually killing the mind, the thoughts, the addictions that we have never been educated to deal with. The heart is the physical organ that distribute the blood and the oxygen throughout the body, the same with the lungs that feel the body with the air we breathe, however, none of these organs are associated to suicide, because these are not supposed to be stopped while they are functionally working! Why would a human being kill its own body when is fully functional and healthy? Nevertheless, the body will stop working when the mind takes control. This has to do with our own acceptances and allowances, our misdirection and our distractions that keeps us away from our own self-honesty as Life. So, the act of suicide that pops up in the mind appears to be a "solution" to a Life that was never fully lived.

Back to the movie Third Contact, were these deaths real? Or was it the end of the personalities? Or even the end of memories that hold people back?  How would life be if we were to let go of the past?

I then considered that a quantum life, lived in every moment of breath, consists of a quantum death of personalities that must be cleared if we are to know ourselves.

Our physical existence allows us to birth in every breath we take, and to die in every out-breath. An opportunity to change who we have been so far. And I agree with the quote from the film, where she said: "Your concept of death is outdated", because at least for the majority of the people in the developed countries, death is not a consequence of physical hunger, or lack of healthcare or even physical abuse against human rights. Death here can appear as the idea of the mind that one cannot stand anymore, or that one does not have strength to face the problems in Life, or that one is emotionally fragile due to the end of a relationship, or that the loss of money took away one's pride and therefore life does not make sense in that person's mind.

For others, it is actually the concept of Life that has been disregarded and needs to be recreated - those are the ones that are starting to be aware that Life does not necessarily need to be a fight, or a struggle, or a proof to go to heaven, because life on Earth should be Heaven for Every single being.  This is the group of people where I  stand and I have been realising that a mind-death is actually a process of re-birthing from the physical within the realisation of who we are and what Life can be. The physical death, when it is not caused by physical accidents, it's the consequence of the self-abuse from within, as the physical body can only handle that much... And as I mentioned earlier, the act of Self-Forgiveness is one of the most revealing tools that I could ever come across to help myself, to face my mind, to get to know me, my fears, to stop allowing the depression within me, the polarity of lows and highs of the mind, the excitement and the passiveness, the paranoia and the movies in my own mind.

The director of the movie overcame his own resistance by living the decision of making this movie. As he said during the Q&A session, it was a priority that he gave to himself and directed himself to do it, without procrastinating anymore. We can learn from him! It is true that, at some point, we cannot stand our minds anymore and something must be done. Considering the pre-programme of the mind, we will go through the same cycles over and over again, even repeating our parents' patterns, until we stop creating and participating in such cycles of thoughts and actions.

As I got older, I could see the patterns manifesting in my different relationships and in different situations of my life. I couldn't see it by myself - it was just impossible because nothing in my reality was pointing me to a way out. My religion in Portugal was not helping either, quite the opposite. My friends did not know how to help and I was creating consequences around me. I wanted to understand what was going on and why the patterns were repeating. Where were the fears coming from? I also wanted to understand where my accidents were coming from. Was there a god punishing me? Was there a devil punishing me? What was the common element in all of these patterns? Was it me punishing myself? Was I creating my own thoughts and fears? Well, if I got the questions and I must have the answers. If I was creating these thoughts to myself, I should be able to delete the thoughts. If I was killing myself in such a state of mind, I must be capable of rebirthing myself in full self-awareness and start again. I can see this now. I couldn't see it before I was introduced to Desteni, their articles, the interviews, the forums and the videos. Even today I still ask myself how the hell was I able to hear them, considering that my mind is so complicated and suspicious. So I realise that I am the example to myself: if I was able to slow my mind, to start forgiving myself and to let go of my self-distrust, then this is the proof that I am able to change myself.

It is interesting that in the Third Contact movie, people shaved their heads when they were ready to "die". When I shaved my head for the first time I remember to think that I never thought I could do it, because I was not ready to LIVE myself, free of judgments! I could see other people doing it but not me. It was easy for others, but not for me. It was OK for others, but not for me.. The same with making movies: I thought that others could do it, but I couldn't. Until I took the decision to make my first video-clip.

I thought that others could be self-honest but not me, until I started to write for myself in complete openness and vulnerability.

I thought that others could write themselves on blogs but not me, until I started my blogs.

I desired others to change themselves but never considered that I could only change myself - until I took the decision to walk the Process of self-honesty and go through my deepest patterns, secrets, paranoia, memories and fears.

I did not have to literally kill myself to start seeing this; I did not have to ascend to a sky/heaven in order to be in peace with myself; I did not have to create conflict with others in order to see change around me - because my change is coming from within and is then manifested in what I say, write and do Here.

My physical reality is an indication and cross-reference of my own Process, as within so without, Life within, Life outside, in Oneness and Equality. So my own ideas of life and death must be challenged, questioned and changed. We have underestimated the potential of Life so much that death became the apparent easy way out, when the majority of the suffering is coming from our own minds, and this is unacceptable, considering that we could be doing much better in actually working on ourselves and then working together to make this Earth and Life an enjoyable place to be. Aren't Wars the projection of our own self-destruction? Isn't Poverty the manifestation of our own greedy mind separated from the others? Isn't this world a mirror of our own lack of self-responsibility for our own creation?

The process that I am walking is a Quantum process to be lived moment by moment, breath by breath, point by point, while walking the various layers of the mind. When a thought comes up, I take a breath and check within self-honesty what is my starting point, where is the reaction coming from or the fear, and I focus on clarifying it within me, self-forgive and let it go, so that when that point comes up again I am able to correct myself and not give in into the cycle. It is amazing to see that so much of my time on Earth is spent in the thoughts and concerns of the mind that really block me to look at other things in this world. It is also fascinating that since I started to sort out my own mind-mess I have been finally started my Masters in diplomatic studies and I am more than ever keen to work in this world to participate in its change for a better place for all, through common sense and solutions that are the best for all, me and the people. 

Would you go back to the mind-paranoia if you were to discover yourself as your own direction, as Life Here?

Movies mentioned:

http://theactofkilling.com/

http://www.thirdcontactmovie.com/

Supportive links:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

http://desteni.org/

https://eqafe.com/free

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/SunetteSpies?feature=watch 

http://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Picture from: http://www.dailybeefcake.com/2013/07/02/bringing-third-contact-to-the-big-screen/

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DAY 84: The Consequences of Losing Direction

I have never been aware of the point of Self-Direction before as I am now. Throughout my Process of writing, forgiving self and discovering Self, I have been slowly but surely becoming aware of my misdirection, my self-manipulation, my distractions, my excuses, my fears and all of the luggage that became to heavy to carry with me. This reminds me of a Portuguese rock band singing a song about how quickly we find ourselves with a child in the arms, in our own bubble, as if our Life had not been directed by us. So I ask myself: If I lose my Direction, what is moving me, who is taking decisions for me? Is it the past? Is it the mind? Are the others deciding for me? What are the consequences of losing track of my own creation? In order to see it, I suggest looking at the world as if you were its creator - There you go - the consequence of Our Creation. Because we All are its creators.

Recently I watched the documentary about the WikiLeaks story "We steal secrets" and one point that became clear to me was the consequence of the loss of direction in their process of making information public. The lack of Principles allowed the Ego to play the game and the whole world loss some potential realisations about equality, about the need for critical education, about the interconnectedness of world events, the terror of wars and about the demand for people to become responsible for the decisions that are taken in their name. Unfortunately, the whole message got distorted and, instead of common sense and motivation to change laws/systems in light of the facts, it instigated even more fear and separation between the top leaders and the people. Stealing secrets to give to the people will not work because the people are not educated to understand the secrets, to understand the consequences of those secrets and are not educated to change that which is abusive. So unless there was a clear direction of the individuals and the group with a political statement of what to do with such information, the whole story would shut down when the spotlights ended. And that's pretty much what happened.

Regarding the loss of direction, there is a really supportive quote from Bernard Poolman, where he says:

Direction establishes the steadfastness of Self as The Here (Life).

But as direction is overwhelmed and get lost within the zombified humanity,

the physical will break up (death) and Self becomes to nothing.

Stand with the Direction of The Here where the Self Stand Alone

Because those that have already walked are without direction (directionless).

And Everyone comes to Earth as the Answer (when you are born you are given Life) but Who will live the Answer Here?

Looking at the 26 years of my existence, I can see some phases and moments in my life where I lost my direction and deviated from my decisions and commitments and had no Principles within me. The consequences became the pattern of self-distrust, the fear of disappointing others, the separation within me and the need to fit an image of success in the system. My direction became separated from me because I allowed my thoughts to control me and I never stood for the Life Principles of Self-honesty, Oneness, Equality and Common Sense.

So the first step is to embrace this realisation which will certainly start kicking our asses to become real and aware of what is going on Here. Self-forgiveness comes in to not allow the overwhelmingness of the mind to discourage us to continue walking and to NEVER accept the deal of "it is too late" or "who am I to change this". As the creators, we will forgive ourselves for what we have allowed and accepted to create, participate and feed in this world. Even those points that we apparently think have nothing to do with us, in the end we will see that we are interconnected and that ALL my thoughts must change. The point Here is to realise that one will not change the world, but that changing oneself will change one's world and consequently will change every step that one takes on earth and every decision that contributes to how the world operates.

The second step is the commitment to recreate our creation in a different way. We see the problem = we know the solution. This is where the self-corrective statements are beneficial because, in each sentence, we are establishing an agreement of change within us and we truly take on the responsibility to change ourselves in our thoughts, words and actions, to start honoring/Being Life.

Finally, the ultimate Self-Direction is manifested in Living each and every single point in self-correction. There are no excuses to continue the mess in our minds, the chaos in the world, the self-dishonesty, the inequality and the abuse- We Know IT. As Bernard Poolman said: "The consequence of abuse is upon you in a single breath, yet it took many breaths of abuse in its creation. The correction of the consequence will take many more breaths than what it took in its creation. Many give up before they begin." So I ask Myself: Are we waiting for someone or something else to direct us? Are we that slaves? Or are we going to take on our inherited responsibility to take care of this Earth as ourselves, all Equally Here, walking in the Same Direction towards what is Best For All Life?

"Do not judge yourself for mistakes. You cannot make mistakes because if you walk...It’s not a mistake: it’s you correcting yourself. Get feedback and then change." Bernard Poolman

For more support, join the Desteni Forum, read the blogs, watch the videos, read the material and start this journey.

Illustration: SELF DISCOVERY - Available at andrewgableart.com

http://andrewgableart.com/store/self-discovery-original-drawing/

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