DAY 130: The Mirror Of the Problem: See Your World

This week I noticed a change within me while walking outside: one day I was confused and stressing out, the following day I was calm and things made sense in my mind. Still, I was walking in the same neighborhood, so what changed?

It all came down to asking me the question: what do I see around me and how is that showing me what is happening inside of me? It is all about the relationship I have with my own self. If I am disappointed about something that I did or said, I will see the disappointment in the world, the deception, the lie, the mismanagement of the system and everything seems to be too overwhelming.

It is no coincidence that the confusion within me towards the world comes up when something in my reality is not OK, meaning, it manifests when I am not stable within me. As within, so without. What I am learning from this is to not react to the thoughts I have, whether  these are the good version or the bad version of the world, and to not take these thoughts for granted. Seeing things for what they really are is the challenge ahead, with no positive or negative emotions associated. For as long as I have these feelings towards the world around me, that means that the same feelings and judgments that exist towards who I am and what I do, and I will always be trapped in the bipolarisation of who I am and the world.

Within this,

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of excitement and achievement when I looked at the world around me and thought that things were apparently working fine.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of despair and disappointment when I looked at the world around me and thought that everything was in decadence and a mess.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to take my thoughts personally without questioning me where these thoughts come from, how have I created them and what is the bottom line underneath such judgments towards the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into this never-ending mental judgment about the world around me without considering giving me the opportunity to stop the thoughts and look at myself, investigate each judgment within me, deconstruct the emotional attachment that is reflected in the world around me and to be open to discover the judgments that I hold myself to.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the thoughts I have towards the world, which can be done if I slow down the thoughts, I breathe and I give me the opportunity to see the thoughts I am deliberately creating.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to see that both the positive and the negative judgment towards the world come from within me and that any reaction that is manifested already existed within me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep the memory of the good feeling/sensation when I looked at the world and things were working fine. I realise that such memory is an illusion and that if everything was actually perfectly well in the world, that would be consistent everywhere and in every moment - the reality in the world shows me that this is not a fact yet. The reality is still far from such a secure and safe place for everyone in every moment.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of despair and stress towards the world I live in and to allow myself to get possessed by these feelings that lead me to the belief that I am powerless and that I cannot change the world around me from which I am part of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am powerless to change who I am within me, the relationship I have with myself and the relationship I have with the world.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to react in blame towards the people in the world when I see that things are not OK, while other times I react in gratefulness for their existence in well functioning world.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to separate me from the other people, which is an indicator of me separating from the world and therefore from myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to hold on to the memory of the positive experience when looking at the world around me, which I realise it is about avoiding facing the negative polarity and not wanting to fix the cause of such bipolar relationship towards the world. I realise that the cause of such mirror is me - I am the constant element in the equation and therefore whatever I see around me is a mirror of what is going on in my mind. Therefore, I can take each and every opportunity of walking on this earth to find out who I have become and what requires to be adjusted within me in order to become a stable being, as within so without.

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DAY 126: Headache, Despair and Stress

Usually I tend to give a context related to my life before I apply my Self-Forgiveness, however tonight I realise that the context is irrelevant since the stress point can be very wide and affect us in many different ways. Actually, I have been planning to write about a point that came up recently related to chronic stress, when I was made aware by my homeopath that I was manifesting earlier symptoms of such condition that affects both the mind and the body. Since then, I have been reading about it, I met people that went/are going through it and I have been supporting myself through writing and self-awareness, dealing with my mood changes and the polarity of excitement VS depression.

To start with, I recommend reading the "Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479" and the "Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Two): DAY 480" to understand the processes involved on the Quantum Physical level that contribute to the manifestation of chronic stress in the Mind and Body. Tomorrow I will also be sharing some perspectives on Chronic Stress during my participation at the Desteni I Process LIVE hangout.

On today's post I will apply the Self-Forgiveness on the experience of despair that I have been going through today associated to a strong headache.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel desperate when I am with a headache because of the apparent idea that I am powerless towards it to stop it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the headache to feed the fear of having a disease that could potentially be life threatening.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think of me as a victim of the headache without actually taking responsibility for the origin of the headache. I am aware that if exists within me it is because I have created it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into the state of dispair and impacience within me when I am with a aheadache, which I see comes from the self-judgment for not being able to move myself as fast or as enthusiastic as I usually do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the headache for the discomfort I feel in my head instead of embracing myself and work with what is here in order to find the root of the pain.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complain about the headache and to blame my job for the stress that I create within me, without realising that I am distracting myself from the origin point that I must look at and take responsibility for. I notice that today, despite the strong headache throughout the whole day, I have been aware of my thoughts and therefore I can support myself to deal with the thoughts and give me direction to forgive the thoughts and realise that I am able to stop the thoughts.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to hold on to thoughts about the things that I must do and then create this pressure in myself based on the fear of forgetting to do something at work or at home. I realise that this pressure can be avoided if I write down my tasks or if I simplify the task. I also have been realising that my mind tends to complicate things but when I de-constructed into smaller tasks these are not as big or complicated.

Self-Correction statements:

When and as I see myself getting stressed about having a headache, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am creating this stress dose unto myself unnecessarily because I am not supporting myself to get stable. This is actually an excellent opportunity to stand for and by myself in order to remind myself that I must stop the stress and breathe; that I must support myself unconditionally and that I am responsible for creating the headache in first place.

When and as I see myself fearing headaches based on the fear of being sick and the fear that the headache won't stop, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the headache is not something separated from me and therefore I cannot disregard it or judge it. It is actually my responsibility to cooperate with my own self so that I find what is causing the headache and I help myself through the process of changing myself.

When and as I see myself blaming my job or the people around me for the stress and despair that I am feeling, I stop the thoughts of blame and I breathe. I realise that while typing this sentence I saw the fear of failure coming up, which is a point that I have been accumulating within me with no reason. I see that the fear of failure won't avoid things to fail because I am actually not standing totally clear and unconditional in my actions, as fear corrupts self-honesty.

When and as I see myself giving in to the self-victimisation pattern when I feel pain in my head, I stop myself and I breathe. I realise that I don't have to feel/become/behave like a victim of my own headache. Instead, I can give myself direction to rest, to lay down, to slow down in order to help myself physically and, once I am stable, to help myself by walking the points in my mind manifested during/by the headache.

When and as I see myself using the headache as an excuse to be lazy or to be self-dishonest, I stop and I breathe. I realise that being self-honest is the key to support myself and that by not being self-honest I am just harming my self. For example, when and as I see myself saying to myself that I am not going to write because I have a headache, I stop and I look into the justification, I check within me why I am not going to write and in that moment I can decide to rest first and to write after, making sure that I am not running away from my responsibility to support me and change the relationship with myself - from self-judgment to self-cooperation.

Self-Correction commitments:

I commit myself to remind myself to stand stable in moments when the headache seems to be overwhelming.

I commit myself to relax, to slow myself down and to give me time to investigate what triggered the headache within me and what are the points that come up from this experience so that I can stop participating in it, walk the self-forgiveness and change the relationship with myself.

I commit myself to stop the fear of failure within me and to be calm when dealing with challenges in my life, being at work when something changes at last minute, or when new events happen in my personal/family life. I realise that I can be proactive within me to see what is the problem and to work on a solution, which occurs in common sense and self-honesty, not through reactions.

I commit myself to embrace the headache as a moment where I can only stand for myself and cooperate with my own self, to not give up on myself but to actually support me, both physically through resting and mentally by walking/investigating the layers of the mind through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Realization. I realise that only in self-stability, self-honesty and in standing by the Principle of doing what is Best for All it will be possible to recreate long-lasting solutions for myself and others, being at work, at home or in the society.

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