Day 99: Career anticipation - the fear of failing and the fear of succeeding

I realise that the energetic fear of failing and the constant need to fight for something has been working as a motivator, as a challenge and, after all, as a BIG distraction in my own mind. By this, I realise that I am the one holding myself back and procrastinating my own life, my potential of life and my time on earth to become the best of me.

This is a continuation of the self-corrective statements shared on the DAY 17: Inflating my career - tendency to make things bigger than what they are

When and as I see myself reacting to my own decisions based on the fear of failing and the thoughts of anticipation I stop and I breathe. I realise that these thoughts are not real and are not who I really are but they show me patterns that I must deal with, understand where these fears come from and take the decision to walk through it in self-direction and self-confidence to change who I have become.

I commit myself to stop fighting with my own mind and therefore to stop the reaction in me – I realise that the anticipation thoughts show me my tendency to complicate and to fear my own decisions. From here, I commit myself to trust myself in my own decisions and to recreate my relationship with myself, this time in actually taking decisions in common sense and then support me in living my decisions in real-time. I realise that the hope for miracles of god is an illusions and that I have the tools within me to make the best of my time on earth.

I commit myself to focus on my priorities and therefore I commit myself to direct me to dedicate my time to my Process (self-care, my daily writing, my reading of other Destonians, the DIP and my agreement with Joao), my job (financial stability) and my self-expansion in my contribution to the world system.

When and as I see myself fearing and believing that I am going to fail because I perceive me as not good enough for my own decisions, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the fear of failing is based on a bunch of perceptions that I have created about the various careers and that I have excluded my options based on this same fear of failing without even starting it.

I commit myself to not define me by my career, to stop the perceptions related to specific careers and to start looking at the professional activities as practical requirements in this world.

I commit myself to stop hiding myself behind a name or a career because a career is not more than me – I realise that everything that I do is me and that my success in my career is the result of my dedication what I am doing, and this “self-success” applies to everything that I do.

When and as I see myself fearing my self-success, I stop and I breathe.

I commit myself to not distract me with the fear of failure, nor with the idea of competing with someone or fighting for something, but to rather live my decisions to its fullest and to then dedicate myself to new things, instead of holding me back to the comfort of that which I already know. I see now that I have been holding myself by participating in the pattern of indecision, to the pattern of fear of changing and to the distractions of the mind, so I realise that by walking these patterns I am actually changing myself an changing my decisions, this time with a starting point of self-honesty, self-direction, self-correction and self-realization.

Illustration: Eqafe interview: Anticipation: Developing Self Trust - Atlanteans - Part 116 

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DAY 97: Inflating my career - tendency to make things bigger than what they are

I realise that a career does not need to be inflated and perceived as something bigger than myself. I see that the complication that I created within me is a reflection of what I have been accepting and allowing within and as me. Now I can use this point to correct my tendency to inflate things/make things bigger than what they are (which generates the fear of the future by seeing my "life" separated from me).

The following self-corrective statements are a continuation of my previous post DAY: 16 The Career Indecision Vírus.

I commit myself to be practical in regards to my career decision and to simply apply myself in developing my communication skills, taking advantage of the fact that I speak multiple languages, always considering the practical requirements to work in the world system, motivating myself to learn and then direct me in a field of interest where I can expand myself.

I commit myself to study in order to practice common-sense and move myself from the starting point of looking at solutions to this world and change the world like I change myself.

I support me in working in the system to support myself to change the system, first by perfecting me and then in applying myself into perfecting the system.

I realise that the priority must be me, from within, in looking at the thoughts that I have, the indecision,  my acceptances and allowances, the relationships that I have created in my mind, the desires and projections for the future. From here, I realise that regardless of what I decide, it is always me directing me, and so I commit myself to live the decision of becoming my own self-stability, self-comfort and self-direction. This decision must then be applied into everything I do, including my daily job, career and participating in this world.

I commit myself to re-establish the relationship of self-trust and self-direction that I will then consequently apply into everything I decide to do and become. 

I commit myself to become the best of me in self-integrity, self-honesty and self-worth and to live it in any career or job or activities that I do.

I commit myself to respect and take my decisions seriously.

When and as I see myself distrusting a decision that I just made, I stop and I breathe. I realise that each and every single decision that I take "counts" in terms of my own creation - I realise that my distrust towards the career became a habit and a distraction, based on projections of how the future could be in this career, or that career, which is all based in the images/ideas/definitions/desires of the mind. As I agreed before, I am not defined by the image and perception that a career is usually associated with, such as the elitism, recognition, respect and prestige - I realise that all of these associations are the result of brainwashing on the unequal value that society (we) gives to its own people (ourselves). 

I commit myself to value each and every single person and their activity as worthy, without judgments of being more or less, but to rather look at the practicality of the existing careers and become my own example in making the most of my own actions and to actually transform my career in a way that addressed real-current issues in this world.

When and as I see myself starting to navigate in my mind projecting me into a future separated from me, based on information and ideas that I am imposing upon myself, I stop and I breathe.

I give me this opportunity to stop the confusion of my mind and to assess in self-honesty why am I creating a future against my own Life/stability - Therefore, I commit myself to bring the point here and see what is my starting point and what future/fear is my mind showing me that I must correct within me in my thoughts, words and actions. I support me in applying common sense in my own decisions and do the best thing for me, in real-time, in this present moment, in order to change the reality that I create to myself - and create heaven on earth, from within.

Sometimes I see that my indecisions are superficial based on greed (wanting to do and have everything) so I commit myself to take it easy and to stick to self-honesty, as to what is feasible and what steps I require to take in order to become my solution. I finally realise that a career can/must be a solution that is part of the bigger world solution for all of us, to recreate and live in a better world.

I commit myself to trust my own volition and I support myself to be aware of my own self-creation/world-participation in every moment. I have every moment to practice my self-confidence in my process of living my decision of correcting me, within and as my decisions, and perfecting me in walking the talk.

A world where a career is a real freedom-of-choice = Living Income Grant

Image 1: http://leadersinheels.com/lifestyle/5-secrets-for-successfully-juggling-a-business-with-children/

Image 2: http://sandysjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/day-177-how-companies-justify-poverty-wages-the-solution-2/

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DAY 96: The Career Indecision Vírus

I realise that I easily underestimate myself and what I do.  In this, I also realise that my indecision and lack of self-security is like a virus that contaminates everything I do, which was also manifested in my attempt to play an instrument, which I never took seriously. I am now sharing some of the self-forgiveness that assisted me to open up the career points within me:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to others for not knowing what career should I take.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to compete with others when it comes to deciding a career.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to hesitate in my career based on the fear of regretting my choice and for believing that it will be too late to change my own decision! In this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my own decisions before even I take them or test them. I realise that the fear of failing is simply a fear of the mind - If I trust myself I am not failing on me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to live the decision of being fearful instead of taking my decisions seriously and doing it for myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to define me as indecisive by taking another person’s advise as more relevant than my own decision, instead of realising that it is always me who walks the decision and therefore there is no such thing as being forced to do something – I am the one responsible for my actions and it is my call to listen to the other and then to decide for myself what is the best thing to do for myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see my decisions based on another person’s agreement, otherwise I perceive myself as doing the wrong thing.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on another’s approval about what I do, what career to chose, instead of trusting me unconditionally and standing equal to another, without dependency but rather in mutual support.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that choosing a career path would take me away all my doubts like magic. I realise that I am the same whether I have a career path or not and that sooner or later I will have to clear my doubts and fears. This is my Process and every single episode of my life is a reflection of the points that I must deal with and transcend, in real-time.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see/believe that a career is something in a distant future that I project in my mind, instead of realising that I am creating me with every action and therefore my career will be the accumulation of my actions and activities/work in the world system. Within this I see that regardless of the professional field of work, I will always have to deal with my own self in order to be able to take the most of what I do to make sure that my career is aligned with the principles of Life, of giving as I would like to receive, of self-responsibility, of self-honesty, common sense, oneness and equality.

On my next blog I will walk the self-corrective statements.

Image: http://literaryemergency.com/2012/04/06/panicky-indecision/

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DAY 95: Facing the 'career indecision pattern' for many years...

In my most recent exercise of the Agreement course, I had a look at who I am currently and how I became this me. In order to expand on this point, I went through the patterns that became part of me, in my way of living, my thoughts and my plans. One of these points is the career indecision that I faced almost all my life. There was some sort of pressure from adults in wanting to know "what you want to do when you get older?..." and I was stressed with the fact that I did not know. I was good at school so people used to say "don't worry, you have time and you are good at school so you can do whatever you want". Being good at school did not seem to be enough - I desired something or someone to tell me "This is your best choice, go for it, your vocation is for that", but this obviously never happened. It is my decision and it is my assessment to see in self-honest what is that I can/want do. Probably this is a pattern of modern days, because in the past people did not have much choice: they would work at the parents' business or simply work in whatever their city could provide as an option. In my case, I had the opportunity to travel since I was 7 years old and my parents never imposed me any career path apart from "do what makes you happy and please take care of yourself". So this freedom to decide became a frustration and the years passed by. Influenced by society, I realised that I desired a prestigious career for the social and financial benefits of it. However, this greed did not sound right and I was not educated to do things for money. Probably that's why I had a resistance to work in the system, exchanging my time/dedication for a salary, but this is how it works and I made peace with it. So you may ask yourself: have you decided what to do? Before I get to that point, I will share in the blogs to come some of the writings that I went through on my Agreement course because this is the Process that I am walking and answers won't come through miracles. I am walking this point in real-time and one thing I can see now that I did not have before was the tools to face my self-doubts and my fears. Now, I do have the solution to know myself through self-forgiveness, writing, investigating the things for real without judgments and being opened to solutions outside of the comfort zone of the past. Stay tuned and feel free to send a comment in case you faced or are facing the career indecision pattern.

Check out the free course to start your journey to life: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

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