DAY 115: Self-Forgiveness on the memory of a friend's death

This is a continuation of the previous post "Haunted by Memories" that expands on the emotional  relationship that I created towards a memory about a friend who died in a car accident in my primary school years. This memory has been around for so long that I have never considered investigating what is behind it, become aware of the emotions and see that I can stop giving in so much into the mind.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to associate my current reality with the memory of losing a friend in a car accident and, by doing this, to project the fear of death into this moment when I am ALIVE.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of fear of getting bad news just like it happened when I was told that my friend had died.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that if my friend had an accident the same thing can happen to me - through this I realise that I am limiting my Life with knowledge and with people's experiences that I project unto myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create and feed the fear of having a car accident every time I access this memory when I am in a car with a friend driving.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that the emotional attachment to this memory is real.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear to go in the car with friends and cousins because I heard that my friend was with cousins and family friends when she died.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to use this memory to validate the fear of having a car accident, instead of questioning the fear in first place. I see, realise and understand that fear is an energy that feeds the mind, keeps me distracted from myself and separated from the physical reality. Therefore, I realise that I must not trust the memories to validate or judge my present and that it is my responsibility to see the memory as it is - a memory in the mind - and stand stable in my present moment.

To be continued...

{ Continue Reading... }

DAY 101: My own entertainment - The addiction to the energy of the mind

Today I finally saw something that has been disregarded in a very naive way lol. You know when something is always there but you have never noticed? Well, this is what has been happening as my blindness towards the mind, and more specifically, the way I have been feeding the mind ALL THE TIME THROUGHOUT MY LIFE. How? Through the energy in the form of emotions, of anxiety, of fear, of distrust, of feelings, of love, of sadness, of despair, of desire, of hope, of regret, of impatience, of anticipation, of expectations, of blame, of guilt, of jealousy, of reaction, of comparison, of anger, of hate, of imagination, of exhaustion, of positive, of negative, of happiness, of judgement, of distraction.

So, yesterday I was almost blaming the TV series for my entertainment but today I see what is really happening: the real entertainment happens inside me in my relationship with my own mind and the addiction to the energy generated by and for the mind. This self-slavery is the ultimate self-deception and this realisation is just the beginning of the process that I am walking. I am, for the first time, aware that all these emotions and energetic feelings don't need to exist - or should I say, I live without such energetic emotions. The same way I see that I should be able to watch any series, speak with another, do anything without any energetic movement within me. Only breath remains.

This realization came actually from a combination of factors, namely the understanding from the Eqafe interview on Impatience and my experience tonight after watching the last episode of a TV series. I noticed an anxiety within me by knowing that I was going to watch the last episode: my mind was going to lose its daily meal of emotional attachment! When the episode came to an end I thought "Is this it"? And I saw that the energy was not real because it was not here anymore - I am still here, the energy is not. The mind is still here and I can see it more clearly when I get distracted from my writing for example. It is like a shadow that watches everything that I do. This must not be a big surprise: I know the mind because I became the main allie of the mind. The challenge and the process here is to realize who I really am, as Life, by transcending the mind.

While I am writing I can see the fear of dying right now - here is another trick of the mind: the ultimate fear of death as a tool to participate in the energy. So I teach myself to breathe and overcome the storms of the mind.  I stop thinking about death and I focus on my breath. I associate a realisation as an achievement and so I fear to "suffer" the negative consequence of something bad to happen to me. So the label of realisation as a positive thing must be redefined within me.

Why does the mind exist? Through this question I realise that I am actually blaming the mind for my slavery. So I can rephrase my question and ask myself: Why and how did I become the mind? Why and how do I participate in emotions, anxiety, fear, distrust, feelings, love, sadness, despair, desire,  hope, regret, impatience, anticipation, expectations, blame, guilt, jealousy, reaction, comparison, anger, hate, imagination, exhaustion, positive, negative,  happiness, judgement, distraction. That's why in the Desteni material we always see and read about the point of self-responsibility and self-stability, because this is what I must be able to recreate in me and become.

It is apparently tough to let go of a belief, of a religion, of an idea, of a dream and this is the resistance that I have created in my own mind towards the mind itself. It is amazing how ideas become so real in my mind that I am able to project them into my reality and live by it - of course this is not a Life, because it is a prison limited by my own imagination.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to get excited with a realisation/understanding, as this is a point of energetic excitement of the ego and based on the fear of losing such a realisation! Therefore, when and as I see myself realising a new point or a new dimension within a point, I stop and I breathe.

I support me to stand stable within and as the realisation, because the realisation is not separated from me. I commit myself to walk through/as/become the realisation and therefore there is no need to go into excitement or fear of losing that which I already am.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to see that the emotion of desire to watch a series is an energetic anxiety of the mind that I can stop through breath. Within this, I see that the addiction to the energy of the mind is not the best for me, because it creates a separate reality of nervousness and I am not aware of me here anymore.

So when and as I see myself going into the energy of the mind, either in the form of anxiety, of fear, of emotional attachment and of desire, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to breathe until I take control of me here, stable and aware of my actions out of the mind.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to avoid watching the last episode because I did not want to lose the energetic desire of watching another episode.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to distract me with the energy of the mind instead of watching the series as it was initially my plan. I realise that I deviate from my objective of simply watching the story and move on.

When and as I see myself going into the parallel reality of the emotions of the mind, I stop the sequence of emotions and I breathe. I support me to remind me of what I am doing and I help me to be aware of when I slip into the mind of imagination, anticipation, fear and emotions in order to stabilise myself more efficiently and with less consequence.

When and as I see myself going into the imagination of the mind and the images of the mind, I stop and I breathe. I see that these images are not real, that are memories and that I can only use them as a reference to see what I must stop within me - what are the preoccupations that move in my mind?, what are the thoughts that I am distracted with?, what are the fears that I project unto myself? What is the consequence that I am creating by being distracted of my own reality?

I commit myself to support me in seeing my own mind and to dedicate myself to correct me, to clarify the memories, to understand the fears and to stop me from participating in the mind.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that this process is a radical process and that my realisations will bring some immediate changes - I realise that I must walk point by point and that I must apply each and every single realisation in real-time until I face each and every pattern where I have been enslaving myself. In this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear to move on in my own process and to change me. I realise that this fear of the unknown is an idea that is not real - I also realise that the mind is not the best for me and therefore I must practice myself in self-awareness, I must practice my breathing, practice stopping the mind and practicing solutions in my real life.

When and as I see myself navigating in the mind of memories, of images, of beliefs, I stop this self-entertainment and I breathe. I realise that I must be my own cure because I am the one feeding this addiction to the energy of the mind. I commit myself to focus on my breath until I am back to this reality and I restart my actions in self-awareness and self-correction.

{ Continue Reading... }

Day 99: Career anticipation - the fear of failing and the fear of succeeding

I realise that the energetic fear of failing and the constant need to fight for something has been working as a motivator, as a challenge and, after all, as a BIG distraction in my own mind. By this, I realise that I am the one holding myself back and procrastinating my own life, my potential of life and my time on earth to become the best of me.

This is a continuation of the self-corrective statements shared on the DAY 17: Inflating my career - tendency to make things bigger than what they are

When and as I see myself reacting to my own decisions based on the fear of failing and the thoughts of anticipation I stop and I breathe. I realise that these thoughts are not real and are not who I really are but they show me patterns that I must deal with, understand where these fears come from and take the decision to walk through it in self-direction and self-confidence to change who I have become.

I commit myself to stop fighting with my own mind and therefore to stop the reaction in me – I realise that the anticipation thoughts show me my tendency to complicate and to fear my own decisions. From here, I commit myself to trust myself in my own decisions and to recreate my relationship with myself, this time in actually taking decisions in common sense and then support me in living my decisions in real-time. I realise that the hope for miracles of god is an illusions and that I have the tools within me to make the best of my time on earth.

I commit myself to focus on my priorities and therefore I commit myself to direct me to dedicate my time to my Process (self-care, my daily writing, my reading of other Destonians, the DIP and my agreement with Joao), my job (financial stability) and my self-expansion in my contribution to the world system.

When and as I see myself fearing and believing that I am going to fail because I perceive me as not good enough for my own decisions, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the fear of failing is based on a bunch of perceptions that I have created about the various careers and that I have excluded my options based on this same fear of failing without even starting it.

I commit myself to not define me by my career, to stop the perceptions related to specific careers and to start looking at the professional activities as practical requirements in this world.

I commit myself to stop hiding myself behind a name or a career because a career is not more than me – I realise that everything that I do is me and that my success in my career is the result of my dedication what I am doing, and this “self-success” applies to everything that I do.

When and as I see myself fearing my self-success, I stop and I breathe.

I commit myself to not distract me with the fear of failure, nor with the idea of competing with someone or fighting for something, but to rather live my decisions to its fullest and to then dedicate myself to new things, instead of holding me back to the comfort of that which I already know. I see now that I have been holding myself by participating in the pattern of indecision, to the pattern of fear of changing and to the distractions of the mind, so I realise that by walking these patterns I am actually changing myself an changing my decisions, this time with a starting point of self-honesty, self-direction, self-correction and self-realization.

Illustration: Eqafe interview: Anticipation: Developing Self Trust - Atlanteans - Part 116 

{ Continue Reading... }

DAY 88: Self-Worth (and lack of it)

In self-honesty, and through self-forgiveness, I will look at and open up the point of self-worthiness and the lack of it within me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to take my mind for granted and never questioned me about the point of self-worth and never actually investigated where the need to excel  comes from.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life/my things have to be complicated because I believe that I am destined to take on complicated and complex tasks, instead of looking at each and every single point of my life (either tasks at work, studies, career, family) in practical common sense, without believing me to be special in any way whatsoever.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have an emotional relationship to my actions, which I realise is based on the polarity thoughts of succeeding VS failure, when in fact it is through this starting point that I am failing to be self-honest. I also realise that the emotional relationship to things is a manifestation of fear of loss that instead of taking it personally I can help myself in dealing with it and forgiving each thought.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to define my value/worthiness based on the ideas of perfection of the mind and, when such an idea of a perfect team, a perfect day, a perfect relationship or a perfect job don't match with the reality, I go into a self-devaluation and self-disappointment mode.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create layers of things that I believe I must do to compensate the failure, without seeing that I am competing with my own mind and the ideas of perfection that are not real in first place.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to have the reality as my starting point and therefore do that which must be done considering my position, my abilities, my experience, my time and my availability.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to value me as Life, within and as each breath, constantly, without hesitation, regardless of where I am and what I am doing.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that by standing within the starting point of Life, as that which is best for All, in self-honesty, my decisions will be based on such principle and therefore no devaluation will happen because there is nothing to judge as right or wrong, perfect or imperfect. I also realise that in self-awareness and self-honesty I am able to correct myself when I go into the thoughts/values/judgements of the mind, take a breath, give me back the stability of Life and move myself from Here, in common sense and practical solutions.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that I must devalue myself/skills in order to be seen as humble and to be accepted by another.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am confident and value my work I will be judged as vain.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen/judged as having a high potential and therefore desiring to be special in the eyes of another.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire to go beyond people's expectations without seeing that these were my own expectations and that I have been the one limiting myself in such self-limitations.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to limit my expansion by holding myself back and by desiring to be recognised for a hard working person and a victim when I go beyond that what is physically sustainable.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exhaust myself until I can no longer fight with the mind without seeing that this fight with the mind is pointless - I realise that the mind shows me my acceptances and allowances and it is my responsibility to stand in my directive Principles as Life and to give me direction in self-honesty, by forgiving each point of the mind, understanding it, and finally start the Process of self-correction consistently, all-ways and for eternity.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to leave a backdoor opened based on the idea that I have to go through the same point again in the future because I am not ready to correct myself now and because I have defined me as that point (comfort zone of the mind). Therefore, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that life is about going through the same points/cycles over again and I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will react to the same points in the same way, which is a disregard for my process of self-honesty and self-change.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to imagine me having a depression because of work and blaming the system for it, without seeing that I am participating in this scenario by accepting it in my mind and projecting it in my reality, instead of taking the responsibility of taking care of me in every moment of my Life and changing all the self-abusive patterns that exist in my relationship to myself.

Self-corrective statements:

When and as I see myself thinking that the solution for a problem is creating another problem such as working long hours and compromising my physical rest, I stop and I breathe. I realise that a solution that stands for life must stand for All life, including my own. Therefore, I commit myself to stop looking at my life from a mind starting point of competition, excess and inequality, and to start changing my solutions within me by applying solutions that consider everyone involved in the situation.

When and as I see myself looking at the situation from a mind starting point, which I see within me to be based on secretism, on inequality, on competition, on memories, on previous experiences, on ideas of success and failure, and on emotional fear, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the starting point within me must be of Self-Honesty as Life, one and Equal to another in order to make any change in my experience on Earth and therefore to change my participation. I realise that 'my world' reflects my own accepted mind and that any reactions, fears or emotions that pop up are materials for me to work on, forgive and change, in order the outcome of my participation.

When and as I see myself judging the "normal" job from 9-5 as not being good enough for me for being too simple, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the judgement towards a normal job is not real per se but it is based on my experience of seeing my father working extra hours, working over the weekend, arriving home late, which I have associated to success and worthiness. I realise that working more hours compromises my physical stability specially when it becomes a habit and when there is no self-direction in that decision (a sort of go with the flow = mind). Therefore, when and as I see myself participating in the polarity of judging  extra-hours as wrong but at the same time staying till late by default, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this polarity creates conflict and a friction within me that is not supportive. I also see I that sometimes there is a real need to fix something that implies staying until late however that does not mean that there is an emotional attachment to that situation based on the fear of doing that a pattern or based on the fear of abusing my body. In such situations, I commit myself to stabilise me through breath and to do what needs to be done in that moment, adapting and being flexible, always considering what is best for All, including me. I realise that if I have an early morning in the next day, I must be responsible for myself in this point and communicate it accordingly to make sure that I don’t compromise my physical rest.

When and as I see myself under estimating my skills by wanting to be seen as humble, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this idea of humbleness as being passive and ignorant is a self-dishonesty and a limitation because I am holding myself back and postponing myself, instead of applying my skills at my fullest potential in everything I do, all the time. I realise that there is no real need to be accepted by the other because this starting point is based on separation and fear of being rejected. I commit myself to stand stable and self-honest in my communication with the other, by stop speaking about certain things or in a certain way on order to be accepted (I come to the realisation that such judgments exist within me and therefore I can stop them).

When and as I see myself thinking that business models only change when there is a tragedy (associated to death or depression) I stop and I breathe. I realise that by feeding the patterns of the mind within me I am actually perpetuating the system, as within so without. Therefore, I commit myself to take my Life/my current reality to face the points that are here and that I am capable and responsible for directing, as my own example. I realise that I have all the tools I need to apply my self-correction in every moment of breath, in every decision and in everything I do.

When and as I see myself postponing my application, my self-honesty and my self-correction by thinking that I will likely go through the same point again in the future, I stop and I breathe. I realise that it is up to me to go through the same emotional experience again and recreate the same consequence to myself again. In self-honesty I see that it is not the best for me and that also affects the others around me. Therefore, instead of accumulating more points within me to deal with 'later', I commit myself to embrace one point at a time, looking at the point that is here and open it for myself, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-realisation and self-commitment to change and finally apply it.

I realise that I am valuing me as Life by standing as my commitment to stop my participation in the mind and in stopping my acceptances and allowances that my thoughts show me. I realise that the desire for competing with another is also based on the idea that I must prove to myself that I deserve having more than the other and that I am worth more, instead of stopping the inequality within me and looking at the practical thing to do. In this, I realise that I am not standing as Life-value each time I perceive me as more worthy and less worthy in my thoughts, which are judgements of the mind in separation with myself/the other/Life here.

{ Continue Reading... }

DAY 86: At Most Fear: the atmosphere of the mind

Once Bernard asked Joao what was the one single thought that occupied his mind in everything he did. Today I decided to ask me the same question and the answer that resonated with my experience was the Fear of Death. It is not a coincidence that a few minutes before I had thoughts about a coach accident: in fact, over the last three weeks I have been traveling a lot and I just realised that I am fed up with this atmosphere of fear within me! I realise that I participate in the fear of dying each time I am on a plane, when I am on a coach, when I take a train and when I ride a bicycle, and all of the attention given to the mind is tiring and draining. I came to the limit and I realise that the point is here for me to walk it, step by step, letting it go.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to feed the fear of dying when I am traveling, instead of acknowledging that accidents do happen but that anticipating these is pointless because I am not supporting me to be present and aware of myself to help me in case of an eventuality.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create thoughts of accidents and about my own death in my mind without realising that I am the only one responsible for keep feeding this pattern of thought within me and disregarding my Process of Becoming Life in every moment of breath (my existence).

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to entertain my mind with the pattern of fearing to die young and leaving all the things that I am currently doing, instead of realising and understanding that Self-Honesty is to honour life in every moment of my existence here and therefore I commit myself to stop the fear of the future but to rather focus on who I am in each moment Here.

I realise that the fear of dying young is based on stories from other people and the idea of self-victimization which are already a form of me giving up on myself and in my potential of changing the faith of failure towards Life.

When and as I see myself using examples of accidents from the past and stories from other people's deaths to justify the 'legitimacy' of my thoughts, I stop and I breathe. I see, realise and understand that I am the only one responsible for the thoughts that I accept within me and therefore it is my responsibility to not limit myself by the experience or stories from the people who died young which were thoughts that I kept within me in self-dishonesty and fear. I realise that living in fear is not living, as it is separating me from myself here.  

When and as I see myself having a thought about dying on a plane trip or on a coach or on a train, I stop the thought and the energy of fear and I breathe.   I commit myself to look at the situation in common sense and assess the practical preventive measures that I/all can apply in that current moment. I commit myself to stop the thoughts and let it go the fear of losing myself Here (distraction/not real), and by doing so I allow me to be present Here in complete self-awareness and stand stable within my physical body no matter what.

I will continue walking the fear of loss/death on the next blog, going through the need for controlling the reality, the contradiction of 'living' under stress and the memories from the past that I am limiting my future with.

{ Continue Reading... }

DAY 82 - The Fear of not Making It

One of the points that arose in my mind following Bernard's death was that this Process is "too big" for me and I cannot make it, because I associate death to a punishment and that dying is a form of a "time out" of Life. It is fascinating and scary at the same time to see how the mind tries to justify events that I don't understand/not yet aware of, and that is why imagination pops up: because I don't have a reference and I believe that I "need to know" in order to Live.

Well, this knowledge is a distraction and an entertainment. Instead of feeding the imagination, I can/must start with the thoughts that are here manifested at the surface, so today on my post I will walk the idea that this process is "too big" for me and the associations I have created towards death.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that Bernard's death must be justified so that in my mind I create a protection mechanism to avoid looking at the point that Bernard was walking, as I fear to have the same sudden death.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to perceive death as a punishment of God for not living my "mission" or whatever ideas I have of what I should be doing.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that I am not protected by Bernard's common sense anymore and to believe that without Bernard I cannot take decisions for myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that my heart will stop if I go through intensive points wihtin me instead of stopping comparing myself to Bernard and stop justifying the resistance of the mind of continue walking my points in detail until I am fully clear within me.

When and as I see myself comparing myself and my process to other people's process, I stop and I breathe.

When and as I see myself participating in the resistance to walk a specific point manifested in the excuses of the mind, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to  not to give in into the entertainment of excuses/fears of the mind and to focus on the patterns that is manifested in my thoughts.

When and as I see myself fear to speak about Bernard's death and noticing any energetic movements of anciety, regret, fear of the future, I stop and I breahte. I realised that this is a point that I must accept and let it go, undonditionally witihnhin and as the responsability of walking my physical stability as Life (no thoughts) and walking my process in order to recreate my own real stability.

When and as I see myself participating in the idea/imagination of being attacked by another being because I am not longer protected by Bernard, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is a projection of security separated from myself. I realise that I haven't yet given myself this opportunity to deal with the fear, understand it and transcend it.

Within this, I commit myself to take responsibility for the fear of being alone to be sure that I trust myself in every way and to be certain that the "protection shield" of the mind is not real - I realise that these fears have been around with or without Bernard's presence and that only I can give this gift of Life to me.

I therefore realise that walking the process within and as me is the greatest support and independence I can give to myself.

When and as I see myself thinking that my world will fall over after this event, I stop and I breathe. I realise that my stance in Self-Honesty must be absolute in every moment of breath. Therefore, I understand that I am helping myself by writing on this point, by facing my fears, by applying Self-Forgiveness on the thoughts that pop-up and in committing myself to Walk until I am eternally Stable as Life Here.

Note: Some of the points are not shared on my blog as these are points are solely regarding my own memories and experiences. The patterns are explained and therefore anyone can apply these points to themselves and help oneself to walk his own memories/experiences in order to understand the patterns and correct one's acceptances/allowances.

{ Continue Reading... }

DAY 81 - A New Start In My Process

I have been walking the Desteni Process over the last four years and since last year I started writing my Journey to Life blog in Portuguese. This is the seven year process of writing that is shared in many blogs by people around the world and today I realised that it is time to have my Journey to Life in English, so that my words can be shared globally. This decision has also culminated with an event that has shaken my world recently: the death of Bernard Poolman on Sunday 11th August.

Where should I start? I will start from this present moment where I am now. There is a mix of surprise with Bernard's death, as well as a new confidence within me and in the Group of people walking this Process. The point of surprise comes from the idea of infinity that I had within me, like a child that believes that the parents will live forever - and that's what Bernard became to me: a father that stood as an example of Integrity, Self-Honesty, Self-Commitment to All Life on Earth. His support to others was unconditional while not accepting bullshit from the ego/mind's of humans. When I visited the farm in April 2012 I remember my initial nervousness when meeting him but soon I realised that we were equals and I allowed myself to Hear him without self-judgments and to simply Be there with the rest of the group. At the farm, I witnessed the potential of humanity in coexistence, in supporting each other, in finding solutions, in being practical, in enjoying ourselves together, in looking at our own selves and taking responsibility of each individual's correction.

Yesterday evening, when I came across the news that Bernard had passed away, my mind went into a state of denial and regret for not having been to the farm earlier this year to meet with Bernard again. This reaction of the mind showed me the pattern of regret that I haven't yet taken responsibility for, but the fact that I could see this point straight away without giving in to self-blame is the best thing I could give to myself. This shows me that my Process of self-correction is Real and that the awareness taught to me in the various chats with Bernard, Sunette, Esteni and others can be Practically Lived by me. That's what Bernard represents to me: the Practical Living Example of standing in Oneness and Equality, Self-Correction, fearless, stability and awareness of the interconnected existence that we, as Humanity, are responsible for. Therefore, by walking this Process, everything that Bernard represents exists in me in every moment of breath Here.

This morning, I went through my notebook from my visit to the farm and I started to allow the energy of regret within me for not having had more chats with Bernard, or for not taking "enough" notes, and for not having recorded every single word. It is interesting how my mind can sabotage myself by giving in into the pattern of wishing to go back in time. I now see that this desire is in complete self-interest to have the sense of comfort again, the sense of protection and security that I had when discussing points with Bernard. This is another indicator that I am not yet creating such Stability within myself. As Bernard said to me: "If you cannot stand Alone you are fucked because you are dependent."

On my notebook I found the following:

Points that I see in Bernard:

• Knows exactly what he does
• Self-Confidence
• Stands unconditionally
• Does not worry what other people say or think
• Speaks in common sense all the time

If I am Honest with Myself, I am still separated from these points as I am not yet consistent in my Direction, Self-Correction and Dedication to myself Here. Regardless of how many chats I could have with Bernard, it is up to MY decision to Become my Own Example of Living the Principles of Life. Bernard was not going to Walk the Process for me, of course. He did provide All the support that he could for everyone interested in becoming a better version of the human race. As Bernard also mentioned, "When we are born we are given Life but somewhere in between we lose direction and we lose who we are." so he put together  a bunch of materials online for guidance in our process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Realization and ultimate Self-Change, and so started the foundation of a group (Destonians) of people that are willing to learn the Principles of Life, to walk them, to apply Self-Forgiveness, to know oneself and to become Self-honest. During the years that I have been participating in the group, I  have witnessed the quality of the material shared, the priceless information, the unique writings and its positive impact on my daily application, my own writings, my blogs, my choices in Life and my relationships. 

Therefore, I am Grateful for Bernard's existence on Earth. I am grateful for his kindness, for not giving up of his Process, for not keeping his solutions for himself and for establishing the founding blocks of the Destonians, of the Equal Moneymovement, of the Journey to Life blogs and of all the Courses that have been created to support everyone around the world. I am also grateful to Bernard for being firm in his communication with me, without bullshit, and for showing me solutions in common sense and helping me to see the mind/thoughts that I have allowed within me. And finally, I am grateful that Bernard instigated the seeds of a marriage with Joao, which did happen in September 2012. Bernard has always been ahead of the game!

For those that did not manage to go to the farm while Bernard was there, there is no point to regret it either. His words are available everywhere online, on his writings, videos and books, and only Self can walk this Process for Oneself. Again, there are no excuses to not live the Principles of Life as Bernard Poolman did.

In essence, WE HAVE ALL THE TOOLS WE NEED TO WALK THIS PROCESS AND GET IT DONE. Meaning, to realise who we can be as Integrity and Common sense. Overall, we are All potential "Bernards" as beings on Earth that are not accepting the pre-programmed thoughts of our minds to determine who we will become and that are not accepting the systems that are destroying our planet.

One major point that Bernard raised in our conversations was my Religion of Self and my judgmental patterns, which I am still understanding how these work in my mind and how these judgments shape my decisions. Many of them will be expanded on this blog, so that it can also support other human beings going through similar points.

Walking this process means to let go of the personalities, of the perceived comfort of the ego and every single judgement that creates separation with all that exists. There is no quick fix: it will take at least 7 years of self-commitment to walk through the patterns and personalities that I have built within me.

Many of the people walking this process are students, are future politicians, are economists, are artists, are teachers, are parents, are corporate, are directors, are unemployed, are psychologists, are educators... and the result of applying the tools of Desteni in our daily actions have enormous benefits in establishing self-stability, self-trust, self-appreciation and self-change. I have been meeting many Destonians and it is amazing to see human beings walking their own process of Self-Forgiveness and that we are equals in this Process: common fears, common realisations, common self-motivation, common care, common concerns and common willingness to change oneself and the world for the better.

So I ask myself: would it be different if I were to meet Bernard again at the farm this year? If the answer in my mind is a Yes, then I must investigate every single point that Bernard Poolman represents to me and investigate where and how am I not giving and living these points to myself unconditionally. Of course that his physical presence, his voice, his jokes will be missed when I am back to the farm this year, but his Words remain within Me by Living the Principles that He Stood for.

One must Hear the Message and Walk it.

Thank you for reading and for walking with.

{ Continue Reading... }

Day 31: Why on earth did we invent heaven?

The only certainty you will always have is this moment. Now. 

Ok, breathe with me. Yes, here we are.

Life is here. So why on earth do we believe in the hereafter?

These last two weeks have been a great occasion to give wings to the i-mind-gination. Or not:

• First we had the huge annual religious event in Fatima (Portugal) where children are taught about the miracle of the three shepherd children; 

• then came Stephen Hawking with sharp words cutting the stairs to heaven with his statement 'There is no heaven; it's a fairy story'; 

• and the cherry on the top: the “doomsday” didn’t happen as expected, for the sadness of many ego-man whose egos were dependent on winning the bet...

After all, what do we expect?

Why on earth are we willing to destroy what we have here, moved by an obsession of the future or the “well-known” hereafter?  

After all, we don’t know what the hell is really going on...

 

"A belief that heaven or an afterlife awaits us is a "fairy story" for people afraid of death, Stephen Hawking has said."

In other words, people that fear to die prefer to entertain themselves with the idea of heaven. Wouldn’t be simpler to stop the fear of death? Well, that is another story.

Even though we have been to the moon, Life on Earth is still threatened.

We become a threat to LIFE every time a law is created against fellow humans, for example. This planet becomes a threat to LIFE every time a war is started by humans.

What I see is that people don’t fear to die... people fear to live.

In a world where starvation is still an option, where war is just some miles away and where the human body can be a painful target, there isn’t space or time to realise what Life can BE.

Instead of looking at the source of such dramas and fix it, people turn back to Life and blind themselves with the white-light-heaven. This is the fast-belief promoted in a society of fast-food and fast-solutions.

But we are now coming to a point where humanity agrees that this system is not healthy.

We have one rich planet but the majority is struggling while the minority fears to lose what “owns”. This is exactly what we have to look at if we are willing to change the direction humanity has taken so far... too far.

The more and more people are realising that without money, Life is hell.

Apparently, in "heaven" people have everything they need. On earth, people struggle to have the basic needs fulfilled, not to mention the animal abuse.

Now: if I tell you that a new lifestyle is being proposed starting with giving money to everyone for the human needs, would you still dream with an unknown heaven? If you could enjoy nature here, share the space with the animals, feel the calmness of the rivers, the fresh air, the rain in your hands, the taste of the tropical fruits, the hugs of babies, the body resting in the shadow of a big tree, the human care, be fearless and enjoy Life as yourself --- would you still desire to go somewhere else that only exists in your mind?

Look around you: all the other planets are dead! Only Earth has hearts beating... beings, we can only breathe in this planet...

This is the great project ahead: to honour Life on Earth. Let’s use the knowledge we have and the man-made invention of money for our own benefit.

If you believe that your life would change if you would win the lottery, imagine how everyone’s lives would be better if money would be given unconditionally for as long as we are alive.

Will we be eternals?

Who needs an idea of heaven if Life is created by us and for All Here?

Heaven = life given even to everyone = in the same plane = to become equal.

 

EQUAL MONEY . ORG

Sources: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/may/15/stephen-hawking-interview-there-is-no-heaven

{ Continue Reading... }