August 14, 2013

DAY 81 - A New Start In My Process

I have been walking the Desteni Process over the last four years and since last year I started writing my Journey to Life blog in Portuguese. This is the seven year process of writing that is shared in many blogs by people around the world and today I realised that it is time to have my Journey to Life in English, so that my words can be shared globally. This decision has also culminated with an event that has shaken my world recently: the death of Bernard Poolman on Sunday 11th August.

Where should I start? I will start from this present moment where I am now. There is a mix of surprise with Bernard's death, as well as a new confidence within me and in the Group of people walking this Process. The point of surprise comes from the idea of infinity that I had within me, like a child that believes that the parents will live forever - and that's what Bernard became to me: a father that stood as an example of Integrity, Self-Honesty, Self-Commitment to All Life on Earth. His support to others was unconditional while not accepting bullshit from the ego/mind's of humans. When I visited the farm in April 2012 I remember my initial nervousness when meeting him but soon I realised that we were equals and I allowed myself to Hear him without self-judgments and to simply Be there with the rest of the group. At the farm, I witnessed the potential of humanity in coexistence, in supporting each other, in finding solutions, in being practical, in enjoying ourselves together, in looking at our own selves and taking responsibility of each individual's correction.

Yesterday evening, when I came across the news that Bernard had passed away, my mind went into a state of denial and regret for not having been to the farm earlier this year to meet with Bernard again. This reaction of the mind showed me the pattern of regret that I haven't yet taken responsibility for, but the fact that I could see this point straight away without giving in to self-blame is the best thing I could give to myself. This shows me that my Process of self-correction is Real and that the awareness taught to me in the various chats with Bernard, Sunette, Esteni and others can be Practically Lived by me. That's what Bernard represents to me: the Practical Living Example of standing in Oneness and Equality, Self-Correction, fearless, stability and awareness of the interconnected existence that we, as Humanity, are responsible for. Therefore, by walking this Process, everything that Bernard represents exists in me in every moment of breath Here.

This morning, I went through my notebook from my visit to the farm and I started to allow the energy of regret within me for not having had more chats with Bernard, or for not taking "enough" notes, and for not having recorded every single word. It is interesting how my mind can sabotage myself by giving in into the pattern of wishing to go back in time. I now see that this desire is in complete self-interest to have the sense of comfort again, the sense of protection and security that I had when discussing points with Bernard. This is another indicator that I am not yet creating such Stability within myself. As Bernard said to me: "If you cannot stand Alone you are fucked because you are dependent."

On my notebook I found the following:

Points that I see in Bernard:
  • Knows exactly what he does
  • Self-Confidence
  • Stands unconditionally
  • Does not worry what other people say or think
  • Speaks in common sense all the time

If I am Honest with Myself, I am still separated from these points as I am not yet consistent in my Direction, Self-Correction and Dedication to myself Here. Regardless of how many chats I could have with Bernard, it is up to MY decision to Become my Own Example of Living the Principles of Life. Bernard was not going to Walk the Process for me, of course. He did provide All the support that he could for everyone interested in becoming a better version of the human race. As Bernard also mentioned, "When we are born we are given Life but somewhere in between we lose direction and we lose who we are." so he put together  a bunch of materials online for guidance in our process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Realization and ultimate Self-Change, and so started the foundation of a group (Destonians) of people that are willing to learn the Principles of Life, to walk them, to apply Self-Forgiveness, to know oneself and to become Self-honest. During the years that I have been participating in the group, I  have witnessed the quality of the material shared, the priceless information, the unique writings and its positive impact on my daily application, my own writings, my blogs, my choices in Life and my relationships. 

Therefore, I am Grateful for Bernard's existence on Earth. I am grateful for his kindness, for not giving up of his Process, for not keeping his solutions for himself and for establishing the founding blocks of the Destonians, of the Equal Moneymovement, of the Journey to Life blogs and of all the Courses that have been created to support everyone around the world. I am also grateful to Bernard for being firm in his communication with me, without bullshit, and for showing me solutions in common sense and helping me to see the mind/thoughts that I have allowed within me. And finally, I am grateful that Bernard instigated the seeds of a marriage with Joao, which did happen in September 2012. Bernard has always been ahead of the game!

For those that did not manage to go to the farm while Bernard was there, there is no point to regret it either. His words are available everywhere online, on his writings, videos and books, and only Self can walk this Process for Oneself. Again, there are no excuses to not live the Principles of Life as Bernard Poolman did.
In essence, WE HAVE ALL THE TOOLS WE NEED TO WALK THIS PROCESS AND GET IT DONE. Meaning, to realise who we can be as Integrity and Common sense. Overall, we are All potential "Bernards" as beings on Earth that are not accepting the pre-programmed thoughts of our minds to determine who we will become and that are not accepting the systems that are destroying our planet.

One major point that Bernard raised in our conversations was my Religion of Self and my judgmental patterns, which I am still understanding how these work in my mind and how these judgments shape my decisions. Many of them will be expanded on this blog, so that it can also support other human beings going through similar points.
Walking this process means to let go of the personalities, of the perceived comfort of the ego and every single judgement that creates separation with all that exists. There is no quick fix: it will take at least 7 years of self-commitment to walk through the patterns and personalities that I have built within me.
Many of the people walking this process are students, are future politicians, are economists, are artists, are teachers, are parents, are corporate, are directors, are unemployed, are psychologists, are educators... and the result of applying the tools of Desteni in our daily actions have enormous benefits in establishing self-stability, self-trust, self-appreciation and self-change. I have been meeting many Destonians and it is amazing to see human beings walking their own process of Self-Forgiveness and that we are equals in this Process: common fears, common realisations, common self-motivation, common care, common concerns and common willingness to change oneself and the world for the better.

So I ask myself: would it be different if I were to meet Bernard again at the farm this year? If the answer in my mind is a Yes, then I must investigate every single point that Bernard Poolman represents to me and investigate where and how am I not giving and living these points to myself unconditionally. Of course that his physical presence, his voice, his jokes will be missed when I am back to the farm this year, but his Words remain within Me by Living the Principles that He Stood for.
One must Hear the Message and Walk it.

Thank you for reading and for walking with.


  1. lol I remember him saying to me: "why the fuck do you care what anyone thinks, get over it"


Please type your message

Popular Posts


"1984 book" "Brian Haw" "Council of the European Union" "duty free" alcohol "Equal Money Sistem" "Equal Money System" "equal money" "equal money" life Einstein developing children "European Union" "heaven on earth" "Joana Ferreira" "mindful blindness" "North Africa" "north London" "Osama Bin Laden" "Robbie Williams" "She's the one" "Sistema de Igualdade Monetária" "South London" "Stephen Hawking" "Structural Resonance Alignment" 2012 80-20 Rule 9/11 abuse acceptances accidents achievement action activists Adamastor addiction adolescente advertising African trypanosomiasis agreement airplane airport alarm Alcohol Amanda Seyfried anger anger management Animals Anna Brix Thomsen anticipation Anu anxiety anxiety. pressure Apple argos arguments ashes atomic bomb attack attention seeker awareness baby steps backchat bacteria bank barbie basic income beauty bed behavior belief beliefs Bernard Poolman best for all BIG bike theft bills bipolarity birds blame blaming blindness blog boardgame body body fat explained born boss brands breath breathe breathing bribery bully bus buy callosity callousness cancer capitalism capitalismo Car accident career cats change change the world change yourself childish children China chocolate chocolates choices chronic stress comfort zone commitment common sense common-sense communication communication fear comparison competition conflict conflict resolution consequence consumerism cook corruption countries couple creation crise curiosity cycle cycling deadlines death debt deception decision decision-making decisions definitions dehumanisation Denmark dentist depression desemprego desire despair Desteni Desteni I Process desteni i process lite desteniiprocess Destonians developing nations dinheiro DIP DIP lite diplomacy Direction Disagreements disappointment diseases without cure disempowerment dissatisfaction distraction doctors documentary doomsday drunk earth economic system educate oneself education ego Einstein elevator elite embarrassment emotions empowerment emprego endodontic energy English Enola Gay enslavement entertainment entrepreneurship eqafe Equal Life Foundation Equal Money Equal Money System Equal Money System; North Africa equal-money equality equalmoney Esquizofrenia Esteni EU euromilhões Europe European Union evolution exams excuses exhaustion expansion expectation expectations experience eyes fail failure fairy story fame family FAO farm fashion fashion week Fatima Fear fear of accidents fear of cats fear of death fear of failing fear of failure fear of flying fear of loss Fear week Fears feelings feet females fight figthing flight freedom frente-a-frente Friday friend friendship frustration fulfilled full time job future gaivota gangs getting sick on holiday giving up God gods grades guilt guns habit habits hangout hapiness happiness headache headstand healthcare heaven heaven on earth Heavily Indebted Poor Countries hell help here hereafter History HIV holding back holiday hollywood Holocaust Memorial Day homeopathy hope horse racing horseback riding horses How to be patient how to live well human human behaviour human beings Human Rights Humanity humbleness I'm not good enough IAEA ignorance ikea illusion Image Images imagination impulse In time indecision inferiority inflation inner fight inner world intentions interdependence International Migrants Day International relations interviews invention jealousy Joana Ferreira Joana Jesus job job uncertainty jobs Journey to Life judgments justice justification Justin Timberlake ken know thyself knowledge knowtheother knowthyself Krugman lame language learning leave partner legs let go let it go liberty lie Lies Life Life earth stress mind equalmoney society self-honesty life path lightning limitation listen to me liver Liverpool Living living application living income guaranteed London Londres look loss love MA males manifesto manipulation marriage materials MatterFreeMan media memories memory memory. Fears men mente migration mind mind consciousness system mind Construct mindshift mirror of the world misinterpretation misunderstood mobile models money morning mortgage mother Motivation movie movie industry movies muerte mundo music music star nature neck need negative new year news night Obama occupy old olympics Oneness organised others ownership pain parenting Parents Pareto parfum Parliament partner past path patience patterns peace people perdão próprio perfection persona personalities personality Physical physical body pigeons plan plane plane crash planning plans play plays pobreza polarity política political will politicians politics Portugal Portuguese positive possession postponement posture potential poverty power powerlessness pre-programme pre-programmed present presentation pressure primary school Principles priorities problem problem solving process procrastination profession profissão profit progress projection projections protests psychology public public relations public speaking punctuality punishment purpose Pursuit of Happiness Quantum suicide Questions RapeLay Rastani reactions realisation reality reconciliation refugees rejection relationship relationships religion Remembrance remembrance day reputation rescue Research and Development resistance resources righteousness Rights riots Robot Virgins root canal roots routine Rozelle de Lange RT news rules rupture rush rush hour rush. stress Saturday schedule schedules secrets Self self help self honesty self judgement self stability self-awareness self-change self-confidence self-correction self-definition self-direction self-distrust self-expression Self-Forgiveness self-fulfilment self-honesty self-judgment self-limitation self-perfection self-realisation self-respect self-responsibility self-stability self-trust self-trust. stress self-worth self. principles separation separation from others ser humano series sexomania Shakespeare shame sharing sickness SIM Sistema de Igualdad Monetaria slavery sleeping sickness smoking snooze society society. self-honesty soldier solution solutions space shuttle Spain spitefulness sports Stability stage stand up start the day starvation Starve step by step Steve Jobs stop the mind street stress stressless stuckness study success Sunette Sunette Spies sunshine superficiality superiority support suppression survival survival. rich system taking things personally technological evolution technology teenagers The Act of Killing the perfect girlfriend the unexpected thinking too much Third Contact thoughts time time management toblerone tourist trust Truth Tsetse Tsetse fly Tv TV series Twin Towers UK understanding unkown unponctuality unpunctuality unsecure urges vaccine valentine's valentine's day gifts value victimisation violence virus vlog wake up walk walk the talk wall street war war on terror warfare weak weakness wealth distribution weekend weight White lies Who Am I WikiLeaks woman women words Work workaholic World World Events World Health Organization world peace worry worry wart worthiness writing yoga practice yogini young young pigeon youth

Blog Archive

joana jesus, 2015. Powered by Blogger.
Copyright © Joana's Journey to Life | Powered by Blogger
Design by Blog Oh! Blog | Blogger Theme by