June 29, 2011

Day 35: Invisible barriers between people (Backchat on smoke)

Not all that is in my mind is real. It is only real if I allow myself to participate as the mind. Just because my mind is all that I know, it simply shows me how limited a human being can become. Imagine you have always lived in the same house. The same furniture. Sometimes a new toy. Sometimes it is sunny outside, other times it is raining... You got used to this house. It is warm in here. You know what to do. This space gives a sense of security because it is small and gives the impression that you know it all. Welcome to the illusion of the mind. The simply fact that we allow ourselves to feel lost outside our mind-houses proves that the security isn't real in first place.

Just because I always thought/was educated that smoking is bad, does it make it bad? It is bad in my mind, but it should not be bad in someone else's who smokes...

This week I am realising how the mind creates invisible barriers between people. The barrier only exists in my mind - it is not physically real. The smoke is not a barrier. The only barrier that exists was created by accumulated thoughts against smoking that I have been feeding since ever! None of my parents smoke and curiously, I have been living with smokers. It is something new for me.

A new house implies new behaviour. The old furniture does not fit anymore. It is time to open the windows... and let the smoke in, to finally let it go... with no anger attached. Being attached to ideas is the biggest prison.
It is now a great opportunity to explore this point within myself. I am working on a Mind Construct (Structural Resonance Alignment course) to de-construct all this anger towards smoke and tobacco. Without expecting, I started to cry while writing. Memories that I was not even aware of keeping... One of them goes back to my secondary school where I remember to smoke to be with the "cool" group. I quickly gave up of that idea because the smell was not something that I enjoyed. I was perceiving cigars as something "cool" and stylish while I was feeding a contradiction based on my idea that smoking was wrong and bad for health. Keeping angry inside is much worse...
There is so much that I am not aware of yet...
I will continue my writings on Self-forgiveness. There is so much to let go.
For now, I am pushing myself to stand one and equal with the cigar, with the smoke, with the ashes, with the smell... I breathe.


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