The search for something that is lost can escalate into a stressful projection of dispair towards others and the environment around us. This morning I was able to see it coming and almost prevent it. The reason why I still projected some of my frustration towards my husband has to do with the fact that I didn't have any memory that could relate to the lost object. The easy route was to justify my reaction by blaming my partner and creating the idea that he must have been the one putting it somewhere else. I eventually allowed myself to let go of that idea and to focus on looking for it in the potential places where the lipstick could be... and there it was - in my bag. I was the one placing it there even though such moment had not been registered in me. So what happened?
When I look back at this morning's timeline I see an empty space in my mind where something got lost and I just can't remember where it is. I can trace back to the previous night when I was preparing my bag for the next day and at some point I must got distracted - in that moment my action and my awareness split - there was a mindshift often called "distraction" where I distanced myself from my action. Isn't it scary that we do things without actually being aware of our own actions? Why do we allow such separation within ourselves?
Firstly, it is time for me to fully realise that I can only do one thing at a time. In the rush of the 21st Century and the business fast-paced euphoria might be almost surreal to say this but it is true - I can only do one thing at a time and if I believe otherwise I am only lying to myself. Even though I may speak while eating, I can only say one word at a time and I can only swallow the food once at a time and these two actions cannot happen simultaneously. In other words, I am here moment by moment and I exist one breath at a time. Everything I do must fit within this life-pace otherwise mind shifts happen which means that I start living in alternate realities and missing what is really happening Here.
I can relate to this and I am grateful that I was able to see it and to prevent further consequences from last night's mindshift (e.g. avoid going stressed for work, continue blaming my partner and create more anger within me). However, I do see how mindshifts can be the source of accidents on the road when drivers believe that they have seen a green light when in fact it was red, or when pedestrians forget to look both ways to see if a car is coming, or when messages get lost and important communication is not delivered. The examples are endless. The mindshifts that happen in moments of lack of self-awareness is a red-flag for me to investigate its origins and to ask myself: what can I do/become to prevent it from happening again?
I might not be able to report back to that specific moment in time however I do realise that I would know where I had put my lipstick (or whatever I get lost) if I am aware of myself, my body movement and my presence in every moment of breath; or if I don't daydream and participate in imagination or in paralel realities while I am doing something else. If I live the commitment of being aware of each step I take and of each action I create; if I am Here.
I wonder how many accidents would be prevented, how many arguments would be avoided and how much frustration would never exist if we were always aware of each step we take. For example, there would be no need to rememeber where I put things, there would be no one else to blame and I could trust myself in every moment because I would simply know my actions as part of me, the same way I don't need to think about my name when someone asks it to me - it is here, in me and as me.
Another important realisation that came from my mindshift experience comes from the habit of accumulating tasks on a "mental to-do list" which leads me to start an action before I have completed the previous one, ending up with a mental burden. Therefore, I assist myself to stop the mental routine of imagining the next task and I simply write the tasks or ideas on a piece of paper so that I can look at it later. (The original piece of article of this blog was written during my commute on the train and I am now living the commitment of reviewing it for myself and sharing it with you). Being aware of myself and my actions is key in the process of creating what is best for me and for all.
How does breathing and focusing on physical practical living, assist and support with stabilizing the experiences of shifting out of the physical-body? -Recommended interview
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Illustration: Andrew Gable
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