September 12, 2014

DAY 141: Facing Self-Trust in Public Speaking at a Live Hangout

Just before I pushed the "live" button, there was a shift within me. In a matter of milliseconds,  I though that I couldn't remember what I had prepared myself to say and I became nervous inside myself.  I had to go Live so we started. There was a shift in my attention and my mind was busy with the fear of failing and not being able to express myself in English. The fact that I was already live forced me to push for myself and to live my commitment of presenting the hangout and do that which I had decided to do. I had two guests with me and I realised that I could barely remember their names, even though we know each other for long time. I wasn't stable within me and I was judging myself for that. Curiously enough, the topic of the hangout was exactly about the mind shifts, the parallel realities and the consequences that each one creates to oneself. This became the beginning of an evening of self-investigation and I am grateful that I had the support of the Desteni group and the hangout assisting me in facing the energy of fear that I have been postponing for years.

Once the hangout has finished, I gave myself time to investigate through writing what was going on within me. I looked at my week and the memories that were popping up. My self-instability had not been a sudden thing and the manifestation of instability during the hangout had been the climax of a point that started manifested a week ago, related to self-trust. Not only that, I was also using previous experiences of presenting hangouts to imagine my presentation when in fact that "hologram" was not real and I was responsible for creating my presentation, creating my self-trust and creating the present moment. Like it happened with Jasmine, I was using my past to define my present which caused this distraction within myself and separation from my present reality. This experience confirmed that there is no middle-way: I am either Here or in the mind - and in the end of the day there is actually no choice rather than to stop "living" in the mind and to stand in self-awareness in the real world, if I am willing to change myself. What happened after was absolutely amazing: my body was uncomfortable, I was feeling this nausea in my belly and I was having chills in my body. My husband started asking me questions as to what I was thinking and the word that came up was fear. Obviously, my husband didn't stop there and continued pushing for myself to speak, to expand myself and to not suppress what was happening within me. While speaking to him, I was actually speaking to myself, I was clarifying myself and going through the layers of thoughts until I reached the point of Trust. In that moment, the fear energy became preeminent in my chest and it was overwhelming - as soon as I started stating my Self-Forgiveness on the fear energy I burst into tears. The energy was here, I could feel it in my chest as this massive wall that I thought was impossible to transcend. So I kept on forgiving each thought and my attachment to the fear energy that I was holding myself to. Physically it felt I was near a precipice and I feared to fall. I cried even more when I faced the word Courage - the courage to walk through the fear energy that exists within me. Through Self-forgiveness I was able to release the energy and bring me back to Here and become physically stable. I was still feeling cold but no longer nauseous.

New points opened up in my writing and a new understanding of the energy fear became clear within me when I listened to the interviews Stop in the Name of Fear and The Differencebetween your Beingness and Consciousness for the second time.

I decided to share this point because it may assist those that fear speaking in public or doing live hangouts. The points I suggest investigating are the point of self-trust and fear and to not postpone it anymore because it will eventually manifest for you to face it. Just like it is explained in the Life review, whenever there is a resistance, there is a fear that one must face in one's process of self-change. Why wouldn't one want to change if our fears are actually limiting our expression, our being and our utmost potential?

I will now share specific self-forgiveness and self-correction statements that are assisting me in walking the fear and self-distrust manifested when speaking in public:

Self-Forgiveness on the FEAR ENERGY:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the fear of making a mistake when I am doing something in public  or when I am speaking in public.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to distract me with the fear energy and with the thoughts fed by the energy, instead of focusing myself on the message that I am going to speak and in who I am in each moment of breath.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear to become nervous and being unable to deliver my presentation because it is "too hard" to do it (=to face the fear).
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the energy of fear within me.
I forgive myself as my body for having accepted and allowed myself to feed the energy of fear and through it create the images and the thoughts that justify the fear.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to blame another person or event for the fear that I feel within me when in fact the fear is my own creation and I am responsible for understanding it and stopping it.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exist as the fear energy within me, in my words, thoughts and deeds.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to project the fear energy towards the things that I do, instead of assisting me to investigate where the fear comes from and find/apply solutions to practically assist me, rather than feeding and believing that the fear is a requirement to be aware of myself.

Now that I am aware of the fear energy and the real consequence of distrusting myself, I commit myself to practice my Self-Stance and self-trust in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts, ideas about myself and the image of failure in my mind as I am aware that I am the one feeding the energy and thus the one able to stop it within me.
When and as I see myself participating in the images of the mind and the energy of fear in my solar plexus when I am speaking in public, I stop and I breathe. I realise that slowly but surely I am walking the process of releasing the fear energy from my physical body and that each moment is an opportunity to apply my decision of stopping living/being fear.
I assist and support myself to be patient in the process of stopping the fear within me and to not get distracted with the images of the mind.
I realise that going into fear is a self-sabotage based on the idea that I am not ready or that I can't/I am limited. I also realise that I fear that which I don't know or that I don't understand. Therefore, I assist myself through writing and self-investigation to understand the fears within me and walk the process of changing myself and giving me direction.
I commit and assist myself to direct me in stopping the fear energy and to not allow it to take control over myself and my body.
I commit myself to trust me in my process of stopping the fear energy within me and changing my relationship with myself, from self-judgement to self-awareness, self-correction and self-respect.
When and as I see the energy of fear manifesting in my solar plexus, I stop and I breathe.
I commit myself to stand stable when I am facing the fear energy and through this I assist me to change my relationship to fear, from fearing the energy to understanding how it was created and then release it through self-forgiveness.

Self-Forgiveness on SELF-TRUST:

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to trust myself.
I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to trust my decisions.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to distrust my creation as who I am, what I do and say.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to judge me as a false and as a liar.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am lying to others. By bringing this point to myself, I realise that I am only lying to myself when participating in the mind of thoughts, beliefs and self-judgments.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have self-distrust as my starting point.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be misunderstood and judged when I say something.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-trust.

When and as I see myself distrusting my own self, my actions and my decision, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this self-distrust is not real and it comes from my own self-definition, ideas and beliefs about myself.
When and as I see myself judging what I do as not good enough or not perfect based on an idea of perfection that I have in my mind, I stop and I breathe.
I realise that the image of perfection in my mind is not real.
I commit myself to work with myself in reality and in real time to perfect myself, to expand my self-awareness, to increase my vocabulary, to stop the emotions and to create my own self-stability and self-trust in who I am, in the words I speak and in my actions.
I realise that the state of self-distrust is a justification of the mind to limit myself and to fear leaving my comfort zone and to investigate new points within me.
I also see that the projection about what others judge about me is showing me that which I judge about myself. Therefore, when and as I see myself judging me about what I say or do, I stop and I breathe.
I commit myself to embrace me in every moment of breath and to stand with and as myself in my words and actions. I realise that the personalities that I am judging are not real.
I commit myself to trust my process of getting to know my mind and of correcting me to become one and equal with Life here.
I commit myself to stop judging what I do or what I say as being wrong and to stop participating in the polarity of right and wrong that keep me trapped in my own self-judgement, self-distrust and fear energy.
I commit myself to focus on who I am in every moment and to assist me in being and doing that which is best for me, in unconditional self-honesty and self-trust.
I commit myself to change my starting point of self-distrust to recreate unconditional self-trust and to take responsibility for trusting myself in every moment.

DIP Lite FREE self-empowerment course:
DIP Lite on Facebook:
DIP Pro:
7 year journey to life Facebook group:

1 comment:

Please type your message

Popular Posts


"1984 book" "Brian Haw" "Council of the European Union" "duty free" alcohol "Equal Money Sistem" "Equal Money System" "equal money" "equal money" life Einstein developing children "European Union" "heaven on earth" "Joana Ferreira" "mindful blindness" "North Africa" "north London" "Osama Bin Laden" "Robbie Williams" "She's the one" "Sistema de Igualdade Monetária" "South London" "Stephen Hawking" "Structural Resonance Alignment" 2012 80-20 Rule 9/11 abuse acceptances accidents achievement action activists Adamastor addiction adolescente advertising African trypanosomiasis agreement airplane airport alarm Alcohol Amanda Seyfried anger anger management Animals Anna Brix Thomsen anticipation Anu anxiety anxiety. pressure Apple argos arguments ashes atomic bomb attack attention seeker awareness baby steps backchat bacteria bank barbie basic income beauty bed behavior belief beliefs Bernard Poolman best for all BIG bike theft bills bipolarity birds blame blaming blindness blog boardgame body body fat explained born boss brands breath breathe breathing bribery bully bus buy callosity callousness cancer capitalism capitalismo Car accident career cats change change the world change yourself childish children China chocolate chocolates choices chronic stress comfort zone commitment common sense common-sense communication communication fear comparison competition conflict conflict resolution consequence consumerism cook corruption countries couple creation crise curiosity cycle cycling deadlines death debt deception decision decision-making decisions definitions dehumanisation Denmark dentist depression desemprego desire despair Desteni Desteni I Process desteni i process lite desteniiprocess Destonians developing nations dinheiro DIP DIP lite diplomacy Direction Disagreements disappointment diseases without cure disempowerment dissatisfaction distraction doctors documentary doomsday drunk earth economic system educate oneself education ego Einstein elevator elite embarrassment emotions empowerment emprego endodontic energy English Enola Gay enslavement entertainment entrepreneurship eqafe Equal Life Foundation Equal Money Equal Money System Equal Money System; North Africa equal-money equality equalmoney Esquizofrenia Esteni EU euromilhões Europe European Union evolution exams excuses exhaustion expansion expectation expectations experience eyes fail failure fairy story fame family FAO farm fashion fashion week Fatima Fear fear of accidents fear of cats fear of death fear of failing fear of failure fear of flying fear of loss Fear week Fears feelings feet females fight figthing flight freedom frente-a-frente Friday friend friendship frustration fulfilled full time job future gaivota gangs getting sick on holiday giving up God gods grades guilt guns habit habits hangout hapiness happiness headache headstand healthcare heaven heaven on earth Heavily Indebted Poor Countries hell help here hereafter History HIV holding back holiday hollywood Holocaust Memorial Day homeopathy hope horse racing horseback riding horses How to be patient how to live well human human behaviour human beings Human Rights Humanity humbleness I'm not good enough IAEA ignorance ikea illusion Image Images imagination impulse In time indecision inferiority inflation inner fight inner world intentions interdependence International Migrants Day International relations interviews invention jealousy Joana Ferreira Joana Jesus job job uncertainty jobs Journey to Life judgments justice justification Justin Timberlake ken know thyself knowledge knowtheother knowthyself Krugman lame language learning leave partner legs let go let it go liberty lie Lies Life Life earth stress mind equalmoney society self-honesty life path lightning limitation listen to me liver Liverpool Living living application living income guaranteed London Londres look loss love MA males manifesto manipulation marriage materials MatterFreeMan media memories memory memory. Fears men mente migration mind mind consciousness system mind Construct mindshift mirror of the world misinterpretation misunderstood mobile models money morning mortgage mother Motivation movie movie industry movies muerte mundo music music star nature neck need negative new year news night Obama occupy old olympics Oneness organised others ownership pain parenting Parents Pareto parfum Parliament partner past path patience patterns peace people perdão próprio perfection persona personalities personality Physical physical body pigeons plan plane plane crash planning plans play plays pobreza polarity política political will politicians politics Portugal Portuguese positive possession postponement posture potential poverty power powerlessness pre-programme pre-programmed present presentation pressure primary school Principles priorities problem problem solving process procrastination profession profissão profit progress projection projections protests psychology public public relations public speaking punctuality punishment purpose Pursuit of Happiness Quantum suicide Questions RapeLay Rastani reactions realisation reality reconciliation refugees rejection relationship relationships religion Remembrance remembrance day reputation rescue Research and Development resistance resources righteousness Rights riots Robot Virgins root canal roots routine Rozelle de Lange RT news rules rupture rush rush hour rush. stress Saturday schedule schedules secrets Self self help self honesty self judgement self stability self-awareness self-change self-confidence self-correction self-definition self-direction self-distrust self-expression Self-Forgiveness self-fulfilment self-honesty self-judgment self-limitation self-perfection self-realisation self-respect self-responsibility self-stability self-trust self-trust. stress self-worth self. principles separation separation from others ser humano series sexomania Shakespeare shame sharing sickness SIM Sistema de Igualdad Monetaria slavery sleeping sickness smoking snooze society society. self-honesty soldier solution solutions space shuttle Spain spitefulness sports Stability stage stand up start the day starvation Starve step by step Steve Jobs stop the mind street stress stressless stuckness study success Sunette Sunette Spies sunshine superficiality superiority support suppression survival survival. rich system taking things personally technological evolution technology teenagers The Act of Killing the perfect girlfriend the unexpected thinking too much Third Contact thoughts time time management toblerone tourist trust Truth Tsetse Tsetse fly Tv TV series Twin Towers UK understanding unkown unponctuality unpunctuality unsecure urges vaccine valentine's valentine's day gifts value victimisation violence virus vlog wake up walk walk the talk wall street war war on terror warfare weak weakness wealth distribution weekend weight White lies Who Am I WikiLeaks woman women words Work workaholic World World Events World Health Organization world peace worry worry wart worthiness writing yoga practice yogini young young pigeon youth

Blog Archive

joana jesus, 2015. Powered by Blogger.
Copyright © Joana's Journey to Life | Powered by Blogger
Design by Blog Oh! Blog | Blogger Theme by