DAY 130: The Mirror Of the Problem: See Your World

This week I noticed a change within me while walking outside: one day I was confused and stressing out, the following day I was calm and things made sense in my mind. Still, I was walking in the same neighborhood, so what changed?

It all came down to asking me the question: what do I see around me and how is that showing me what is happening inside of me? It is all about the relationship I have with my own self. If I am disappointed about something that I did or said, I will see the disappointment in the world, the deception, the lie, the mismanagement of the system and everything seems to be too overwhelming.

It is no coincidence that the confusion within me towards the world comes up when something in my reality is not OK, meaning, it manifests when I am not stable within me. As within, so without. What I am learning from this is to not react to the thoughts I have, whether  these are the good version or the bad version of the world, and to not take these thoughts for granted. Seeing things for what they really are is the challenge ahead, with no positive or negative emotions associated. For as long as I have these feelings towards the world around me, that means that the same feelings and judgments that exist towards who I am and what I do, and I will always be trapped in the bipolarisation of who I am and the world.

Within this,

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of excitement and achievement when I looked at the world around me and thought that things were apparently working fine.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of despair and disappointment when I looked at the world around me and thought that everything was in decadence and a mess.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to take my thoughts personally without questioning me where these thoughts come from, how have I created them and what is the bottom line underneath such judgments towards the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into this never-ending mental judgment about the world around me without considering giving me the opportunity to stop the thoughts and look at myself, investigate each judgment within me, deconstruct the emotional attachment that is reflected in the world around me and to be open to discover the judgments that I hold myself to.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the thoughts I have towards the world, which can be done if I slow down the thoughts, I breathe and I give me the opportunity to see the thoughts I am deliberately creating.

I forgive myself for not having accepted and allowed myself to see that both the positive and the negative judgment towards the world come from within me and that any reaction that is manifested already existed within me.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to desire to keep the memory of the good feeling/sensation when I looked at the world and things were working fine. I realise that such memory is an illusion and that if everything was actually perfectly well in the world, that would be consistent everywhere and in every moment - the reality in the world shows me that this is not a fact yet. The reality is still far from such a secure and safe place for everyone in every moment.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the feeling of despair and stress towards the world I live in and to allow myself to get possessed by these feelings that lead me to the belief that I am powerless and that I cannot change the world around me from which I am part of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am powerless to change who I am within me, the relationship I have with myself and the relationship I have with the world.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to react in blame towards the people in the world when I see that things are not OK, while other times I react in gratefulness for their existence in well functioning world.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to separate me from the other people, which is an indicator of me separating from the world and therefore from myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to want to hold on to the memory of the positive experience when looking at the world around me, which I realise it is about avoiding facing the negative polarity and not wanting to fix the cause of such bipolar relationship towards the world. I realise that the cause of such mirror is me - I am the constant element in the equation and therefore whatever I see around me is a mirror of what is going on in my mind. Therefore, I can take each and every opportunity of walking on this earth to find out who I have become and what requires to be adjusted within me in order to become a stable being, as within so without.