March 03, 2014

DAY 125: Investigating Fear... fearlessly

The decision to walk the Fear point is taken. The self-will to start this new journey within my Journey to Life comes from the understanding that no matter how far I go and no matter what I do I will always face the Fear point - until I have changed. 

When I mean by change it is not simply saying that "I have no more fear", but to actually change my relationship to that which causes fear - most often, the Unknown. This reminds me the famous myth of Adamastor, the personification of the challenges that the Portuguese navigators created to give a name to the fear of the unknown when they started their journey of the Discoveries across never before sailed seas.
By looking at the fear as a pre-programme or a programmed mind system, I see that it is and has always been a delusional system that keeps me separated from this world, in my own bubble of fear - So tonight I ask myself the following questions: 

Why on earth am I allowing a programme to destroy and corrupt everything that I am and I do in my life?

What is going on within me to have always believed that the fear is real and that I must obey to the mind of fear?

Why do I use my past experiences to justify the fear of the future instead of learning from my experience to stop the fear and see reality in common sense?
What are the beliefs underneath my fears?

Why did I create fears based on images/projections that I believe are real even though these are also based in fear which are a mind fabrication in first place?

Why am I creating scenarios in my life that are against my own existence and against the development of my full potential?

Who am I if I am not fear?
What do I fear to lose?

I notice that it takes courage to open the Pandora Box in regards to the Fear pattern. I can see how in my daily life fear manifests from the little to the significant examples, with small and big consequences. I can only walk one layer at a time and so I will start by looking at the emotional reactions that I have in my daily life to see how these are based on fear - for example, by looking at the fear of falling on the street, the fear of ageing, the fear of disappointing another, the fear of failing, the fear of misunderstandings, the fear of violence, the fear of pain, the fear of the dark, the fear of people, the fear of animals, the fear of accidents, the fear of cancer, the fear of fear, the fear of change, the fear of the future, the fear of the past, to name a few. 

An interesting thing that I notice is that, despite the fact that I have been walking the Process with Desteni for more than four years, I see now that I haven't yet applied the Self-Forgiveness on many of the points listed above - this shows me how deep the pre-programming can be that I cannot even see what I am doing to myself. Slowly but surely I am opening these points within me and flourishing fear-free. Just like the Portuguese navigators, I am becoming aware of the Fear within me, through points and perspectives never looked at before. I have the will and I have the tools of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty and Self-Correction. I am ready to see and sail...

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