DAY 113: The fear-cycle: why limiting oneself with fears that self created?

This post expands on a point opened up during the previous post My Pre-programmed fears and other person's fears which I recommend having a read first for context.

While writing the self-forgiveness, I had this image of a board game on which the pieces move forward based on the dice result. In this game there are certain "houses" that are forbidden or that have dangerous carts and these are marked with a red cross. Obviously I want to avoid reaching those "touch points" and so the game is to hope for "gentle" dices result that will keep me away from the danger of those places.

Since I invented this game in my mind, it makes sense to see that I created those forbidden places marked with crosses.
- Is this not what we do with our own lives? 
So now my "life" became this uncertain path with places and moves that I should not go/do based on the fear-belief that it is against me - however, I created it in first place! Is this not ridiculous? How come I have allowed myself to create a path/game against my own self, against my self-expansion and my future?

In essence, I am fearing fears that I have created and imposed unto myself in first place. I have created these fears in my mind in complete separation - separated from myself, my awareness and my breath. I have allowed the mind to took over my Life and it became such an automated mind-behavior that I not even questioned the fears or the resistances - I have been the one holding myself back. I have believed in the labels and "crosses" that I had attached to my path, some of them consciously and others unconsciously from pre-programmed fears (e.g. parents, society). Nevertheless, all of these blocking points are limiting myself and I have made myself believe that these limitations were me.

Instead of hoping the dices to give me a "nice result", it now makes sense to me that what I can and must do is to clean these crosses out of the way, meaning, to look at the board game and investigate why I put those forbidden labels in first place, understand where the fears came from and what was the transcendence I feared to face in those checkpoints. It is apparently easy to go with the flow of the mind because we can blame everything and everyone, including the dices result. But we know what we are doing to ourselves therefore, I commit myself to stand as my directive principle in whatever move I take.

There is so much more to play and expand in me/through me that getting stuck in my own created fears of the mind is unacceptable and a waste of me/LIFE.


Platform to start facing one's fears with specific support and structure: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/