DAY 115: Self-Forgiveness on the memory of a friend's death

This is a continuation of the previous post "Haunted by Memories" that expands on the emotional  relationship that I created towards a memory about a friend who died in a car accident in my primary school years. This memory has been around for so long that I have never considered investigating what is behind it, become aware of the emotions and see that I can stop giving in so much into the mind.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to associate my current reality with the memory of losing a friend in a car accident and, by doing this, to project the fear of death into this moment when I am ALIVE.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of fear of getting bad news just like it happened when I was told that my friend had died.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that if my friend had an accident the same thing can happen to me - through this I realise that I am limiting my Life with knowledge and with people's experiences that I project unto myself.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create and feed the fear of having a car accident every time I access this memory when I am in a car with a friend driving.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that the emotional attachment to this memory is real.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to fear to go in the car with friends and cousins because I heard that my friend was with cousins and family friends when she died.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to use this memory to validate the fear of having a car accident, instead of questioning the fear in first place. I see, realise and understand that fear is an energy that feeds the mind, keeps me distracted from myself and separated from the physical reality. Therefore, I realise that I must not trust the memories to validate or judge my present and that it is my responsibility to see the memory as it is - a memory in the mind - and stand stable in my present moment.

To be continued...