DAY 117: Impulse to do things: how to deal with the excitement energy

This week I have been dealing mainly with the fear energy, as shared on my previous posts. However, the fascinating aspect of the process is that, by opening new layers within me, new points become more clear, just like an onion that gets cleaner inside once we start removing the top layers. So on this post I will share the first realizations as to how the excitement energy manifests within me and how I have been correcting myself in order to be constant in my presence here and not giving in to the energy of the mind.

I have been gradually noticing how there are impulses in me to do things, such as speaking with another, hugging another or simply to stand up and do tasks. Until now I had not understood that the impulse, which in the past I called it 'love', 'emotion', 'feelings' and 'motivation', is actually mind energy. What I mean by mind energy is the energy resource based on emotions and feelings that feed the thoughts and, consequently my actions.

The reason I am sharing this today is the impact that this point is having in my life: for the first time I am becoming aware of this energy and, most importantly, I am able to see that I don't have to participate in the energy anymore. For many years I have been participating and using these urges of excitement to believe that I was alive and that I was defined by it. The outcome/excitement is a sort of sugar rush that manifests in various situations. What is quite scary is the amount of thoughts and the nature of the thoughts that are generated in my mind under such energy: thoughts based on memories, associations, imagination, information that I have heard, images that I have seen and also sexual attraction (more information on the energy of the mind can be found in a recent Eqafe interview that explains the origin of sexual attraction). In essence, the energy of the mind is a source of distraction and consequently destruction in all directions, as if we were slaves of the impulses, disregarding the practical reality and common sense.

Now I see that the energy is a sticky glue that I must slowly but surely stop feeding. Why? Because it only creates instability and, despite of the initial excitement, it only brings consequence for me and for the people around me. The energy sometimes can also block me and I become passive, for example when I think that I have to do a given task but my mind goes immediately to the thought that this will take too long or that will be complicated, so I start immediately with a resistance and excuses to do it.

From what I have been realising the best assistance that one can give to oneself is to breathe whenever thoughts pop up in the mind - through breath one brings oneself back to the physical body and doesn't feed the mind. The thoughts will probably keep on coming, as the mind has never been disciplined or directed, but it is very important that one does not take the thoughts personally. I have been saying self-forgiveness to myself on the thoughts and patterns that I see popping up when I am with specific people or when I am dealing with certain tasks of my day. I have been also reminding myself to stand stable within me, aware that I am dealing with energy which in essence is not real unless I participate in it, and that there is no need to go into self-judgment nor regret for the thoughts, because I am dedicated in correcting the mind - first, by understanding how my mind is "programmed" to think this way, where does the energy/motivation/desire/resistance come from and then be able to correct myself and not having the mind controlling my actions.

I wish I had someone since my childhood explaining me how the energy of the mind works and that I did not have to believe in the thoughts and backchats of the mind. So I strongly recommend everyone to start investigating and getting to know thyself. For more details about the process, visit the Desteni Forum and enjoy the free course to start dealing with your own mind.

Artwork: Emotion, by Andrew Gable