October 05, 2013

DAY 103: Why do I feel embarrassed

I must deconstruct the moment of embarrassment to see all the layers under the experience of embarrassment  Walking it through self-corrective statements helps me to open us these layers within me.

This is a continuation of my blog: Embarrassment - Losing my comfort zone at work

When and as I see myself judging the action of speaking English in public as something too big and too risky for me, I stop and I breathe. In this sentence I realise the following: speaking in English is speaking a language, not more not less than speaking in Portuguese or in French; speaking in public is not different, or should not be different than speaking with myself or with the people that are close to me; judging something as more than what I perceive I can do is an idea, therefore, I can first do the action and then see what is that I must align in order to stand equal to that action - in this case, judging speaking in public to be a big task was my own mind-dictatorship telling me how to judge that moment and define me according to the experience and fear of being overwhelmed by something "bigger than me". Finally judging it as risky implies that I have an agenda to follow in order to stick to a certain image or reputation that only I invented to myself, instead of creating myself through my actions - is it not risky to stay stuck in my own imposed mind of ideas and fears? I realise that the risk is also an idea through which I limit my options and my own expansion. In fact, speaking in public in English is supporting me to stand comfortable with the language, comfortable with my own voice and making myself more clear to others. Speaking in public and outloud forces me to change the way I communicate, the structure of my narrative, it helps me to see what is relevant and what is ego, and I start enjoying myself in my communication in English, instead of getting frustrated with it.

 When and as I see myself holding myself back to the memory in my mind where I judge me in being embarassed, I stop and I breathe. Instead of simply accepting this memory as the only thing that was left from my past, I start investigating what is that the memory/mind/embarrassment and judgments are showing me what I have bee accepting myself to be and exist as. In this case, I realise that the memory of my performance as being the cause of failure is a manifestation of devaluation of my own self, whereby I judge everything that I do or touch as getting less value because I got involved. I also realise that the action of speaking in public was merely a few minutes of practically assisting the event, but the weight over this memory is the self-judgment. As the Eqafe interview also assisted me to see is that what my mind is showing me in moments of embarrassment is that which I fear others to thing of me, that in turn is a projection of that which I want to hide from others and, finally, of that which I want to keep avoiding facing within me. I commit myself to stop the habit of going automatically to the acceptance of self-judgments but to instead stop the self-judgment and support me to be stable in everything I do and to embrace my actions. I see that I would not harm me on purpose, nor would I deliberately decide in self-interest, because none of these "choices" are self-honest actions. So, if I think that others are judging me as less, I see that this is my own thought and that I must forgive me for diminish me in my relationship to others. I can only stand as life in this world if I stand for and as my own life and if I respect me as Life, equal and one with another being and all that exists. I commit myself to stop the attachment to the memory and to stop manipulating me through defining me as the memory and the accepted perceptions of myself and others. I commit myself to debunk my own personalities found when I investigate these moments of embarrassment.  I commit myself to restart again in each breath and let go of the judgments and give me time and practice the ability to know myself, to understand the patterns of my mind and to help me unconditionally to change me in self-direction in order to stand in oneness and equality and to be always self-honest.

Recommended Eqafe interviews:




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