September 19, 2013

Day 99: Career anticipation - the fear of failing and the fear of succeeding

I realise that the energetic fear of failing and the constant need to fight for something has been working as a motivator, as a challenge and, after all, as a BIG distraction in my own mind. By this, I realise that I am the one holding myself back and procrastinating my own life, my potential of life and my time on earth to become the best of me.

This is a continuation of the self-corrective statements shared on the DAY 17: Inflating my career - tendency to make things bigger than what they are

When and as I see myself reacting to my own decisions based on the fear of failing and the thoughts of anticipation I stop and I breathe. I realise that these thoughts are not real and are not who I really are but they show me patterns that I must deal with, understand where these fears come from and take the decision to walk through it in self-direction and self-confidence to change who I have become.

I commit myself to stop fighting with my own mind and therefore to stop the reaction in me – I realise that the anticipation thoughts show me my tendency to complicate and to fear my own decisions. From here, I commit myself to trust myself in my own decisions and to recreate my relationship with myself, this time in actually taking decisions in common sense and then support me in living my decisions in real-time. I realise that the hope for miracles of god is an illusions and that I have the tools within me to make the best of my time on earth.
I commit myself to focus on my priorities and therefore I commit myself to direct me to dedicate my time to my Process (self-care, my daily writing, my reading of other Destonians, the DIP and my agreement with Joao), my job (financial stability) and my self-expansion in my contribution to the world system.

When and as I see myself fearing and believing that I am going to fail because I perceive me as not good enough for my own decisions, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the fear of failing is based on a bunch of perceptions that I have created about the various careers and that I have excluded my options based on this same fear of failing without even starting it.
I commit myself to not define me by my career, to stop the perceptions related to specific careers and to start looking at the professional activities as practical requirements in this world.
I commit myself to stop hiding myself behind a name or a career because a career is not more than me – I realise that everything that I do is me and that my success in my career is the result of my dedication what I am doing, and this “self-success” applies to everything that I do.

When and as I see myself fearing my self-success, I stop and I breathe.

I commit myself to not distract me with the fear of failure, nor with the idea of competing with someone or fighting for something, but to rather live my decisions to its fullest and to then dedicate myself to new things, instead of holding me back to the comfort of that which I already know. I see now that I have been holding myself by participating in the pattern of indecision, to the pattern of fear of changing and to the distractions of the mind, so I realise that by walking these patterns I am actually changing myself an changing my decisions, this time with a starting point of self-honesty, self-direction, self-correction and self-realization.


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