DAY 98: Facing a scene of violence & Facing my own fears

Very recently I came across a scene of violence in the middle of the street when a few guys started to kick another guy that ended laid down on the pavement. I was caught by surprise and reacted in fear inside of me, uncertain of whether I should stay still or run away from that place. The fear of the escalation of violence was a mix of insecurity and anticipation. I also noticed an "instinct" to get involved to stop the fight and help the guy that was a minority in the conflict, but in common sense I knew that I should not fuel the conflict even more (and it could be dangerous because I had no idea of these guys were armed). Some people from the "audience" started to defend the victim under attack and the fight ended with the guys running away up the road. I don't know where the fight started or who was to blame but nothing should justify such primitive actions between human beings.

Within me there was still nervousness and anxiety, fearing that new fights could arise and that I could be hit accidentally by them. I can take this opportunity to walk the fear of violence, my memories behind it,  the ideas that I created in my mind and all the layers that constitute this fear within me. The physical instability from this event is an indicator that I must deal with these points within me in order to recreate my inner-stability unconditionally. My relationship of fear towards violence is made of various components such as the reactions, the verbal violence, the projections, the images of violence, the origins of such images and the fears of the mind associated to violence. This is what I am going to walk and share on my blog.

Self-forgiveness on the Energetic-fear of violence:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to give away my responsibility to stand here and stable as breath when I saw the group of youngsters passing by me at night.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe that/judge groups of young people as potential attackers just because of my experience earlier with the fight.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to become/feel powerless when I am alone and I see males or groups of males walking on the street.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to define me/women as victims of male violence, physical strength and control.

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to project such images of violence (including the images from the movies/TV) unto my daily life, having an unequal starting point of believing that females are incapable of defending themselves. Within this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to have ever considered physical violence as a solution to any problem or conflict, as I realise that no real understanding, no real communication, no understanding and no real change can come up out of violence, only more fear, physical instability and separation.

In my next blog I will walk the self-corrective statements and support myself in becoming more aware of such points/energetic fears when these pop up in my reality.