February 05, 2012

Day 69: How was I able to hear the Desteni message?

Desteni's message is about living the words. That, for me, was and still is fascinating.
The first time I came across someone applying the tools of self-honesty, sharing self-forgiveness and actually walking the process was three years ago. By that time, my school friend Joao was giving his first steps in his process and I was amazed by what he was saying - In fact, I listened to him because I wanted to become like him - self-trust, self-honesty, consistency and actions based on common sense. In the beginning I did not know that a group of people around the world were already establishing a foundation to share such principles...
One evening, Joao and I were at a bar when he wrote on a paper the following:

I didn't understand the meaning of it but I got interested in the mystery. One and Equal, he said. Everything that exists, all that is here; everything exists in Oneness and Equality.
These words resonated with me. I didn't think of any spiritual ideas - for me I could apply such principles in international relations and politics, my core studies. Humanity as One Unity in peace - I was actually starting my last year at University and was focusing myself on the North-South interdependency and inequalities.
Joao's actions and words during that summer were definitely reflecting that it is possible to change. No matter what the past has been, Here was/is the moment. I was starting to realise the simplicity of it and at the same time wanting to know more about all of it. I could see how the patterns of the human mind were manifested in politics at a global level: the bi-polarisation of the world, wars of power, superiority and inferiority, the divide-and-conquer theories, the invisible hand on the world economy...
Inside myself I knew there was something deeper and I guess everyone reflects upon it at some point in Life - Where do we come from? Who am I? Who's this body in front of the mirror? What are we doing Here? Where will I go after I die? Why am I thinking of dying if I am here alive? Where did my childhood dreams go? Why do I think in a certain way and other people differently? Why can’t I take decisions? Why do people look at me? ...
Since young age, I enjoyed psychology and the supernatural stories in films. I remember imagining a parallel reality and asking about déjà vus to my science teacher. I started writing a movie script based on this story and in high-school I enrolled in a psychology module. I was curious about how our conscious, subconscious and unconscious minds work, why people have certain addictions, behaviours and disorders such as autism and what are these manifestations saying about us. Actually, one does not need to study psychology to fully understand what Desteni explains about the mind and who we are... Everything presented by Desteni in interviews and through the portal is about us, human beings, and all that which we have in common.
So when I heard the videos about people’s childhood, suppressions, the memory, the system designs, the manifestation of cancer and the patterns of the mind, I was already opened to understand it better. I did not understand what they were saying about the white light, but the main message was definitely something I should listen to. Behind this curiosity was my willingness to help people and to share with them these alternative views, since it was supportive for me already.
The information has been there since 2007 - What was I doing by then?! I was getting drunk at parties, while people on the other side of the world were discovering themselves in self-honesty, writing, investigating and transcending limitations of the mind. We are all very close to hear what people from Desteni share, but at the same we allow ourselves to get distracted from ourselves by the entertainment in today's society.

It is important to mention that religion had always been a strong component in my thoughts – curiously, only recently I realised how strong it was! I grew up in a catholic family and never considered changing the habit. However, I had been very confused in my mind for a couple of years and I remember becoming stressed when praying. There was a constant fear of making mistakes and of being punished. It was like a parallel world inside my mind - I was projecting myself into the future and wanting to control everything around me to make sure I would survive in this world - this fear kept me away from changing and searching for new perspectives. The idea of being protected by Jesus and God was a comfort. What if things are completely different? What will I do with all the knowledge and information I have accumulated about my belief? I was aware that religion was a comfort but I never considered that such feeling was not real. The need to hold onto something, whether an idea or a book, was based on the fear of losing myself (as memories, ideas, personality).
The accumulation of guilt, of fear and of regret within me was a heavy weight that I was holding myself onto. I was the one limiting myself and believing that I would always be like this - I was believing that this is "me". - How limiting can this be!? I was the one creating a prison in my mind and I was allowing myself to accept myself as that prison! The belief itself was also part of the game in my mind. I was creating my own belief and justifying it as the only way I could survive. Such self-manipulation and self-sabotage is the foundation of religion. Not so much the message share by Jesus but rather an interpretation of it to justify our existence thus far.
One day I realised that such inner conflict was doing more harm than good so I stopped praying. I stopped believing. And I was alright. This happened when I re-started writing. I was now opening points within myself that had been kept inside for too long. Joao and people on the Desteni Forum were helping me by listening, writing to me and directing me towards a way out: self-honesty and self-responsibility. Writing Self-Forgiveness on a daily basis became as essential moment for me. The fact that I stopped hiding myself from me allowed me to deal with my own self.

Since I was no longer attached to Christianity, I decided to study Cultural Relations and International Politics as part of my last year at University, focused on Hindu, Muslim and Buddhist societies. The main message shared by all these religions of self-awareness and of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" was clearly very similar to Christianity. On the other hand, the inequality and abuse was also accepted as "holy"! I could associate the influence of the human mind explained in Desteni's materials - all societies are in fact a manifestation of what we, human beings, allow ourselves to become. The consequences of our own allowances are creating the mess in this world. In essence, corrupt human beings will corrupt everything they touch. Societies are a reflection of human beings as a whole. Nothing will change unless we take self-responsibility for what we accept and create in this world. This world is real. Beliefs aren't. If we know that we are all One, why do we accept separation, inequality, war and abuse?  

The more I was reading from Desteni, the more I realised that politics and international relations are the external projection of individual patterns within each one of us. Can you see how internal wars and bipolar minds are manifested in History? Hidden agendas and secret diplomacies based on personal fears, childhood distrust, patterns of inferiority, past mistakes, beliefs, self-judgements and egocentrism. In politics, human life is completely disregarded and the whole set is a game without any kind of respect for mankind. As human beings we don’t really esteem ourselves and we are not educated to do so. Quite the contrary, our self-expression is suppressed and principles are replaced by competition. Forget the countries and the borders -- we are our own enemies. The human mind has the capacity to trap oneself with internal ghosts, persecutory delusions and all different kinds of paranoia. Now we understand why there's no peace to be remembered in this world: Human beings have never been in peace with themselves.

By looking at other people's experiences in the world (including in my family) I easily understood that if I didn't change myself I knew how I would end up - as regret, as fear of the future, as illusion, as a believer, as inactive,  as attached to ideas, as failed relationships, as sick of Life.

So I decided to dedicate the rest of my life to self-perfection – Here, on Earth, for real. By that time, with 22 years of experience in this world, I realised that I don't have choice other than to take a different direction. I don't know exactly the day I took this decision within me because there is no such thing as "the moment that I will be ready ".  It was and still is a process.

Through my participation on the Forum I understood things within me, in my past, in my relationships with my family and ex-boyfriends. I was amazed with people dedicated in perfecting themselves and supporting one another as equals in the process of re-birthing from the physical. When Joao first told me about the Desteni I Process course, I was hesitating since I thought it to be just another self-motivation course with beautiful ideas that only exist in movies. But when I read the course plan, I was so pleased to see that I was going to study something new about the human’s Life, including the patterns of the mind, resonance alignment, the origin of thinking, our relationship with others, mind constructs, memories and tools to correct oneself in the moment.

There are still many things that I am learning. I was and still am astounded by the depth of the message and its universality - it is applied to all sectors of society, of Life and of existence. I can see myself in all interviews and videos, as well as in blogs from Destonians. It helped me to see the big picture and to put the dots together: self is Here, everything that matters is made of the same matter.

My political approach changed. I must put myself in another’s shoes and see that inequality is not the heritage I want to pass on. I am responsible for this moment in time, for each decision I make regardless of the scale of it. It doesn’t matter if I am deciding for two people or for a whole country: any decision must be the best for all. Otherwise it is not a decision, it is a deception. I must be able to let go of all the ideas that I have created of a perfect future – such brainwashing is a limitation based on images of the perfect professional, the perfect lifestyle, the perfect diplomat, the perfect mother or the perfect teacher - self-limitations based on experiences and movies I watched. Such dreams are nightmares completely disconnected from reality. Knowledge and information require to be applied into practical answers, here and now, and that’s what a career should be made of.
Within my process I see the effectiveness of self-forgiveness and, if we want to change international relations for the best of all, the same must be applied accordingly:

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to participate in this world as the ego, as the need to be superior and to prove myself to others. I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to believe to be inferior to anyone else. I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to think that I deserve more than anyone else and by this I realise that I am one and equal with everyone.  (Excerpts from the article Self-forgiveness and international Relations)

Let’s imagine that everyone become self-honest! How many systems would/will change if we no longer accept abuse inside-outside?  Let's look at the economic system: this one is a good example of how consumed human beings are by separation, greed and perceptions of power. In the end, such mind possessions are costing people's lives every day.
So when I read about the Equal Money System I completely got into it. I was studying the problems at University and never heard a Professor suggesting solutions! This was the best I ever heard. After coming across the directiveness and consistency in Desteni's proposed solution, I realised how blind I was towards the money system.
By putting myself in other people's shoes, I see that I do not want injustices to happen to me or to my family (Aren’t' we all one big family?). The economic injustice has to stop.
From my experience working in charities and feeling good about helping others, I did not understand how people could be greedy and why poverty existed in the world. I just did not want to see that greed was also within me, manifested in competition at school, towards my sisters, in sports, etc. ... The same pattern was creating poverty in the world. I was responsible for such acceptance. The economic system is the perfect reflection of how corrupt human beings can become. The worst blind is the one that doesn't want to see ... Interestingly, I had the same blindness towards religion, in accepting things the way they are told without questioning. Apparently, it is easier to do so, but the price we are already paying is too high. We must take a stand and be responsible for it.

Even though one might have resistances when listening to Desteni's videos in the beginning, the point is to put the message into practice. I clearly see the benefits of walking in self-awareness in my process; once I realise certain patterns, it is impossible to ignore it. I am now able to stop, breathe and take direction. By seeing in others that it is possible to change, I have no choice than to become that change too!
If I had never come across Desteni I would probably believe that things would naturally (with God's help) improve and that my children would bring hope to the world. Now I see that there are no miracles and no heroes. We are all self-creators of this reality and responsible for creating Heaven on Earth.
If the patterns of the mind are manifested at an individual level, the sum of its parts reflect the international scene - now we know where conflict, world wars and violence starts, thus we are able to stop it within each one of us.
 I definitely suggest everyone to read and hear what Destonians have to say. It is amazing how people's experiences are so similar across cultures and countries. One will see the benefits of this message in one's own life - we are all supporting each other to support oneself. When I met Destonians for the first time I saw that a better world is totally possible: people sharing the same house (planet) in self-support, without wanting to appreciate neither competing with each other. Each one is in the process of becoming one’s self-example thus creating a better version of humanity. Any decision that would come out of this would definitely be for the best of all.

As I looked at everyday's news on issues that affect the world, I soon realised that something was not alright in the way we think, perceive life and act. I see that Desteni answers many questions based on deep investigation and practical analysis, combining the study of the mind, Self-Forgiveness, common sense and solutions for History’s/human’s mistakes. All I/we have to do is to become the solution and stop existing as the problem.


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