Following the Self-Forgiveness, my awareness about unponctuality and the practicality of leaving earlier from home is now into action. Ponctuality is a point of stability. Unpunctuality as self-distrust is a point that I am facing to transcend.
I am in the bus. At the moment I am stable, no rush. No excitment. No anxiety. I breathe...There isn't any feeling of uncertainty 'if I will arrive on time'. There isn't the feeling of comfort related with the thought 'I still have some minutes'. This polarity of rush vs comfort... But there isn't an ilusionary idea about time today.
Since today I am giving myself time, I took a different bus for work and I am taking this road for the first time. I look around me, like a tourist.
By this I realise that being on a rush implies robotic movements as form of controling ti-me. Controling me.
... but today I am taking another direction. I never considered that. Time implies criativity.
When I am doing something new, time seems to be proportional to my enjoyment. Because I am here.
Unpunctuality is based on memories.
Repetition is based on memories. That is why, when one is in a rush and something unexpected happens, a crises and stress arise and the control becomes ineffective. There's no time to be creative.
I created so many memories of being late that in my mind that is the first feed of my imagination when I am thinking about the next day. It is exactly this starting point that is now being changed... Personality.
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