January 20, 2015

DAY 147: Honouring being alive - reflections during medical surgery

While I was laid down on the chair I felt my legs and arms weaker and numb, as if the local anesthetic was infiltrating the rest of my body. I was breathing to relax my jaw and to slow down my heart beat . What I was also slowing down was my self-defeating thoughts. The fear of something going wrong can be persistent but, for the second time in my life, I noticed that my willingness to be alive is real, even if I am not fully aware of it in every moment. The decision to stand with my body and to assist me through stopping the mind was simple - in fact, all I could do in that moment was to be present, to trust myself and to wait for the endondotical surgery to finish.

Image: http://www.capcitydental.co.uk/articles-and-videos/recognising-whos-a-good-dentist/

What began as a root canal complication ended up to be a tooth perforation, an infected root canal and an abcess of the size of a grape inside my gum. This was the third time that this tooth was giving me pain: the first root canal treatment was done in August, followed by another in November and I was  on antibiotics and painkillers since then. My mouth started screaming for emergency care and a different approach was needed. I decided to go to a new dentist and have a second opinion... In the end, emergency assistance was needed. I wonder how much time and sleep I could have enjoyed if I had had the specialist help since August.

Back to the surgery, in my mind, the thoughts were dancing to the sound of memories, of stories and of cases that were fatal. The initial fear of dying from an accident got smaller and smaller by stopping feeding these ideas. First of all, it was a non-sensical inner backchat - I was batling against my own life and I was separating me from my body that keeps me here. Secondly, I was projecting the worst case scenario without any consistent fact - the Doctor was saying that everything was going as expected. Thirdly, I cannot foresee what happens to me after my death - so excluding that alternate reality was simple. Lastly, I realised that the fear and the distrust was a sabotage of my own decision of going to a new place.

What I did do was to appreciate that moment: I was grateful for the fact that I was being treated, that I was having access to a basic human right that is quality health care; I was grateful for having  had searched for help and that people around me had recommended me seeing a recognised specialist. 

Whilst on that chair, I could see the need of making such quality healthcare available to everyone in need - when it comes to pain, everyone feels it and everyone deserves the best assistance. I was grateful for the fact that people care about other people's teeth and that are interested in investigating the problem and in working on a solution. I was also aware that unfortunately many people (the majority I would say) are not able to have this type of specialised medical attention: first, because they don't know they need; secondly, they don't have the funds for it.

In what information is concerced, I was shocked by the fact that many dentists practice root canal surgeries without the required equipment and that many cases end up in failure and infections. I have a university degree, I am doing an MA, I speak three language and despite all of this I did not know what Endondotical specialists were, and worse, that I needed one baddly.  To my surprise, I was not the only one thinking that any dentist can do such treatments. Well, they probably can but they shouldn't unless they have the experience and the equipment to do it well.

Honouring being alive applies to my life but also to the lives of everyone else. I wonder how many people might be going through the same descomfort (it can be in the mouth or anywhere else where body pain exists) without actually asking for help or being able to have the medical intervention needed. I wonder if this article will assist people to skip some unnecessary pain and empower both patients, doctors and society to do something about it.

My recommendations are:
  1. Addressed to doctors - there must be a call for self-responsibility and humbleness in the sense of recognising that they might not have the proper equipment to fix the problem and that the best thing to do is to refere the patient to a specialist; at the heart of its profession must be the patient's well-being; preventive medicine should be applied in order to help patients to prevent future health issues; doctors should have a network of contacts in order to ask for help if a second opinion is needed; doctors should invest in their emotional stability to make sure that their ability to help another is not jeopardized by the tricks of the mind; doctors should be the ambassadors for honouring life as many lives depend on their ability to reduce pain and find cures; finally, it is essential that doctors support political campaigns that promote equal access to healthcare for all citizens.

  1. Addressed to patients and everyone of us - do ask for help when your body is showing signs of infections; if you see that your doctor is not able to offer a solution, there is no problem in asking for a second opinion to another doctor; if your doctor gives you a treatment that implies removing teeth, definitely go somewhere else to double check before any irreversible damage is done; honour your life and your body unconditionally in every moment; by doing so, we are more likely to also care about our fellow humans and to recognise that we are all better off if everyone has good health and lives well; be open to listen to another's issue and be willing to share any information or contacts that may be helpful;


  1. Addressed to our society - it is our responsibility to prevent healthcare issues and to guarantee that problems are solved once and for all. By this, it is our responsibility to support social, political and scientific innovation so that the future is brighter and fairer for everyone. It is also a right and an obligation to investigate and to share solutions that tackle the very root of economic inequality. Finally, lets all do our share and communicate solutions to problems that we have found in our personal lives and live the commitment of doing unto another that which we would have liked to be done unto us.

In my next article I will write on the effects and how one can support oneself when it comes to chronic pain and medical frustration.

See More:

Check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal and the Equal Life Foundation – a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE online course that will assist humanity to change the human condition and end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.




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January 05, 2015

DAY 146: Where the hell did I put it? - How mindshifts affect our daily life

- "DAMN! I can't remember where I put my lipstick and now I am already late for work!" 

The search for something that is lost can escalate into a stressful projection of dispair towards others and the environment around us. This morning I was able to see it coming and almost prevent it. The reason why I still projected some of my frustration towards my husband has to do with the fact that I didn't have any memory that could relate to the lost object. The easy route was to justify my reaction by blaming my partner and creating the idea that he must have been the one putting it somewhere else. I eventually allowed myself to let go of that idea and to focus on looking for it in the potential places where the lipstick could be... and there it was - in my bag. I was the one placing it there even though such moment had not been registered in me. So what happened?

When I look back at this morning's timeline I see an empty space in my mind where something got lost and I just can't remember where it is. I can trace back to the previous night when I was preparing my bag for the next day and at some point I must got distracted - in that moment my action and my awareness split - there was a mindshift often called "distraction" where I distanced myself from my action. Isn't it scary that we do things without actually being aware of our own actions? Why do we allow such separation within ourselves?

Firstly, it is time for me to fully realise that I can only do one thing at a time. In the rush of the 21st Century and the business fast-paced euphoria might be almost surreal to say this but it is true - I can only do one thing at a time and if I believe otherwise I am only lying to myself. Even though I may speak while eating, I can only say one word at a time and I can only swallow the food once at a time and these two actions cannot happen simultaneously. In other words, I am here moment by moment and I exist one breath at a time. Everything I do must fit within this life-pace otherwise mind shifts happen which means that I start living in alternate realities and missing what is really happening Here.

I can relate to this and I am grateful that I was able to see it and to prevent further consequences from last night's mindshift (e.g. avoid going stressed for work, continue blaming my partner and create more anger within me). However, I do see how mindshifts can be the source of accidents on the road when drivers believe that they have seen a green light when in fact it was red, or when pedestrians forget to look both ways to see if a car is coming, or when messages get lost and important communication is not delivered. The examples are endless. The mindshifts that happen in moments of lack of self-awareness is a red-flag for me to investigate its origins and to ask myself: what can I do/become to prevent it from happening again?

I might not be able to report back to that specific moment in time however I do realise that I would know where I had put my lipstick (or whatever I get lost) if I am aware of myself, my body movement and my presence in every moment of breath; or if I don't daydream and participate in imagination or in paralel realities while I am doing something else. If I live the commitment of being aware of each step I take and of each action I create; if I am Here.

I wonder how many accidents would be prevented, how many arguments would be avoided and how much frustration would never exist if we were always aware of each step we take. For example, there would be no need to rememeber where I put things, there would be no one else to blame and I could trust myself in every moment because I would simply know my actions as part of me, the same way I don't need to think about my name when someone asks it to me - it is here, in me and as me.

Another important realisation that came from my mindshift experience comes from the habit of accumulating tasks on a "mental to-do list" which leads me to start an action before I have completed the previous one, ending up with a mental burden. Therefore, I assist myself to stop the mental routine of imagining the next task and I simply write the tasks or ideas on a piece of paper so that I can look at it later. (The original piece of article of this blog was written during my commute on the train and I am now living the commitment of reviewing it for myself and sharing it with you). Being aware of myself and my actions is key in the process of creating what is best for me and for all.


How does breathing and focusing on physical practical living, assist and support with stabilizing the experiences of shifting out of the physical-body?  -Recommended interview
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection


Illustration: Andrew Gable

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